The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I would just like to clarify that I do enjoy joking in the chat room. Sometimes it is all the laughter I can find and it helps me so much.
I was just hurting and also maybe not so patient. As we all know sometimes we can only be seeing our pain. At the moment I entered the chat that day that is all I could see my pain.
Thank you everyone so very much for all the support and feed-back. I am so glad to have found you.
If I over reacted I do apoligize as I was not myself. Although the tissue remark was bad.
I am so thankful for the support and replies I have gotten back they so helped me.
I do attend f2f meetings when I can. I live in very small town and there is only one a week and it is in the evening. Sometimes this is hard to make as my children may need me for something.
Most days when I come here I leave with a smile on my face.
Andrea! I am so glad you are here! And I am so glad you are feeling better.
Don't worry about anything, hon, we all have our days. Good Lord, I have plenty of them myself. I threw a tizzy of a fit the other night. My serenity was completely gone, but I guess I took the slogan "Let go, and Let God" a little too literally. I really "let go!"
((((((((((((((andrea))))))))))))))))))) ya know, it really speaks volumes of who you are that you didn't run away, instead, you turned around, and kept the focus on you. Makes me smile. Hope to see you in the room soon. ;o)
((((Andrea)) I'm so glad you're feeling better and that you are no longer upset with me or with the others in the chat room. I , too, had begun to feel closer to you as these last couple of months have passed. If i made the comment to you about handing you a tissue it was that i was trying to let you know i was listening and wanted to get a bit' closer to you, put my arm around you to help stop the feelings you were experiencing that might be leading you to tears. i would never of meant it to be taken as being rude or calice. i most definitely meant no harm or hurt. i would never want you to think i was being heartless or cabaret about a situation or issue that had you upset. I have to say that i really dont remember seeing you in the chat room the night you came in. i think i may of left for dinner. But if it was me, i am truly sorry for the misunderstanding.
i know you read earlier in the posts that just before i had left and the joking had started there had been several more intense conversations that had taken place that afternoon. more intense than i had ever witnessed before. hence, my first response to your first post. I just want to apologize again for this ever happening to you. I love you andrea, love your sweet heart and your ES&H has meant alot to me. you are very understanding "way" each time we have had the pleasure to chat with each other has been priceless. I will always respect you and your opinion along with your strength and vitality for life and the way you insist on maintaining that inner peace you possess for your Self. It is an inspiration for me to remain/be strong and to allow peace within my Self (too.)
I am here for you (if i can be...) ... if you need to talk or want to share. I hope everything is ok and i pray that your situation at home will only be better for you as the days pass. your in my thoughts and prayers.
Andrea, I am so glad to hear of your positive response to a potentially negative experience. I recently experienced a similar situation that started at a local round up in Feb. that put 4 members at odds with each other (one of whom was my sponsor). It caused tangible tension in my home group of about 14 members. 2 other longtime members were also having personal issues which I knew about, and I was rather uncomfortable knowing the background of both issues. One member also told me in confidence to be cautious around another member because they were waiting to see me fail in my service position. Conflict is any form is so discomforting to me(Peace at all costs - isnt that the nature of the beast) and my first instinct was to try and fix it, or to avoid it, or to run away from my service position. (I've only been in the program since July '05, and took the service pos. in Oct.'05)
Principles above personalities and tradition one (our common welfare should come first) were at work since these issues have come to pass, and I have seen them in action with positive results. I have realised that my sponsor is human, and I saw how she has applied her program and had a positive outcome for the good of the group with the issues. I have watched how all the other members discussed their differences and put aside their anger and made the best choices affecting the most members. I see that the two longtime members are both still attending meetings and are not acting negatively towards each other during a meeting. I also know that for someone to tell me another person was hoping I would fail spoke to me of what a bad place she was in, because that is not what Al-Anon is about. We do the best we can, and it is enough and it is ok.
I also tend to get off topic sometimes, too, so forgive me. What I am trying to say is that I was shocked and disappointed the first time I realised that the program wasn't as perfect as I thought it should be, but was relieved to find out it didnt have to be, because it works just the same, the same as we human beans do. We are here to support each other on our journey to recovery, in the best way we can.
Hi Andrea, I don't know you very well as I'm quite new to MIP but have read some of your posts and I think I've seen you in chat once or twice. I was so concerned when I read of your negative experience in the room and I 'felt your pain' that your A had picked up. I wanted to reply to offer my love and support but unfortunately I was quite unwell.
I racked my brain to try to remember if I was there or if it were I who had been insensitive. I'm quite sure I wasn't there but if it were me I would apologise from the bottom of my heart. I was just wondering though if the tissue comment was perhaps not meant flippantly/hurtfully but the person was trying to reach out through cyberspace with the gestures we would make if it were face to face? I ask because sometimes I feel so helpless in the face of anothers pain I just don't know what to do or say and sometimes have just offered them a tissue or a hug. Its become a term of endearment now among some of my friends that I am 'Chief Tissue-Bearer'. I'm not passing comment on your specific situation in any way as I truly believe I wasn't present and therefore not qualified.
I just wanted you to know that I've been praying for you, watching out for you on the board and in chat and that a couple of other members and I asked after you as we were so concerned. Also wanted to let you know you were missed. I said if I didn't see you soon I would send a pm. I went in the room (yesterday for me) and you were there but apparently in pm. I was so relieved to see you back! I couldn't hang about long and you hadn't 're-surfaced' before I left.
I'm so sorry for your pain and your negative experience but am really glad to see you back and feeling a little better. Kudos to you for not letting your experience get in the way of your recovery. I wish you well and if there's any way I can help please feel free to pm me. If you need to vent or are feeling lonely/angry/confused/desperate I'm happy to listen. My A had intermittent recovery in his first year in the program so I know personally how devastating those 'slips' can be.
Andrea: how impressive that you could see that the As relapse caused you to go into relapse. I do that all the time with the A. There are days when I can hold steady and other days I lose it. For me there are many other triggers besides the A financial issues being one of them. I am so glad that you can choose recovery these days and choose to rise above so much. I have so little control over many many things and I resent that. There are days when I can accept it and go with it and those are the days when I can feel like I belong in this life rather than being a fish out of water.
and wanted to get a bit' closer to you, put my arm around you to help stop the feelings you were experiencing that might be leading you to tears. i would never of meant it to be taken as being rude or calice. i most definitely meant no harm or hurt. i would never want you to think i was being heartless or cabaret about a situation or issue that had you upset. I have to say that i really dont remember seeing you in the chat room the night you came in. i think i may of left for dinner. But if it was me, i am truly sorry for the misunderstanding. 
and your ES&H has meant alot to me. you are very understanding "way" each time we have had the pleasure to chat with each other has been priceless. I will always respect you and your opinion along with your strength and vitality for life and the way you insist on maintaining that inner peace you possess for your Self. It is an inspiration for me to remain/be strong and to allow peace within my Self (too.)
