After living with my alcoholic wife for 10 years, I moved out of our shared home (rental) two and a half years ago.  I initially bounced between sublets and a friend's house for one year, and then moved into my own one-bedroom apartment in Jan 2016.  During that time my wife had 7-8 stays in residential treatment programs.  From April through June 2016 she spent a total of 30 days in the hospital over three separate stays for alcohol-related conditions.  At the beginning her last stay, she flat-lined in the emergency room and was resuscitated with a defribillator.

Following her June 2016 hospitalization, she immediately entered a 3 month residential treatment program.  Upon return, she was reluctant to enter sober living but ultimately took that step on the advice of counselors and others.  Two weeks after moving in, she experienced a major psychotic episode and was hospitalized for 3 days in a psychiatric ward.  This was the first instance in her life when she experienced hallucinations and dellusions.  Initially the doctors thought her symptoms might be explained by Wernicke-Korsakoff syndrome, but the tests showed otherwise.  The doctors did not have a definitive diagnosis.  It was a terrifying and disheartening time for both of us-- she had finally addressed her alcoholism, but by some cruel twist fate, she was now confronted with a serious mental illness.  At this time (October 2016), I allowed her to move into my apartment.  She had two other major psychotic episodes during the following month, but fortunately, none since.  No psychiatrist has been able offer a satisfying explanation.

One month following her return to my apartment, she relapsed while I was out of town.  She returned to residential treatment for 5 days, and upon my insistence, moved back into a sober living house.  I'm amazed with her progress over the past year.  In June/July 2016, it's clear that she made the decision that she wants to live.  She has a very strong program and has developed a support network.

We decided that we want to resume living together and have been working with a couples counselor (who also specializes in addiction) around navigating this transition.  My primary fear is that she will relapse, refuse to return to treatment, and I will once again be left without the security of having a home.  Our counselor suggested that my wife write a document detailing what she would like to happen in the event of a relapse.  The idea is that if she refuses follow this plan, I will have some recourse to remove her from our apartment.  (In the past she has been stubbornly and angrily opposed to leaving our home, even temporarily.  Which is why I ultimately had to move out) From what I've read online and speaking to a legal services office, any such agreement is unlikely to be legally enforceable.  She's doing really well, and I see this as a low probability, high consequence scenario.

One of my other concerns is that she will gradually withdraw from her program-- AA meetings, therapy, and service work-- once it is no longer mandated.  Does anyone have experience reuniting with a spouse after living apart for years?  What was helpful in dealing with your anxieties and practical insecurities (such as where you might live if your spouse resume drinking/using)?