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THis is my first time in the chat room. My brother in law is so sick I'm not sure he can survive alcohol detox. He's drinking 24 hours a day. He is 41 and living with his mother who buys the liquor because 'having him at home and cooking for him' (although he's pretty much stopped eating) is her way of helping him.
He has no insurance but he and his mother have enough money to afford treatment.
Two years ago he was hospitalized and put into a state detox program. He said it was horrible and he would never do it again.
Is their some way to medicate a person so the detox isn't so bad?
Is it possible he is too far gone to stop drinking?
My daughter tried to detox on her own and had a seizure. She then decided to be hospitalized for detox and rehab. She was medicated for the detox. She said it was hard, but she was successful and did detox.
detox is very dangerous , strokes , halucinations heart attacks are ofen the result of detoxing. And most importantly the A has to want to detox. Yes a doc can give him meds to help him but it is usually done under physicans care. talk to doc and see what they suggest.
My A tried to detox at home, and when he starting spewing blood, that's when I took him to the hospital. He had a seizure and was in a very bad way. When he relapsed several months later and wanted to detox at home, I put my foot down and said no. I did not want to take the chance of going through that again. We took him to the hospital, and he spent a week in detox under a doctors care. While it wasn't "fun" for him, it was much safer. Abby is right, they have to want to detox, and they have to want recovery. In my book, you can have a person detox, but if you don't give them the tools to recover, then it becomes a viscious cycle. Prayers to you and yours. Hope all goes well. Keep coming back to us.
Live strong, Karilynn
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
Thank you for taking time to reply to my question. I was surprised to read that alcohol detox is more dangerous than other drugs.
It all seems pretty hopeless. His mother doesn't want any of the rest of the family to interfere because she thinks he might commit suicide. He is commiting suicide...
If he can be convinced to detox we would have him follow up with a live-in program -
He's moved here from Phoenix because of his health - and he doesn't have a doctor. He lives in the Allen area - should I just call around and see if any doctors specialize in treating alcoholics?
Thanks again for taking the time to reply. Yours, Cindy
I don't want to sound harsh, but no, you should not call around. This is not your problem. If he wants to quit, and needs some help getting it together, asks you for your help, that's different. But, if this is you and other family deciding what he needs, and doing it for him, it will not work. If he truly is interested in sobering up, he can walk into any AA meeting, and get more practical help than you could give him in a year. The people he will meet there can give him real personal experience, not hearsay, and will understand how he feels - how reluctant he is to quit, and so on.
Your problem is how to live with the effects of this fatal disease he has - because yes, it is fatal - without having it destroy you. It sounds like your family is well enmeshed in this cunning and baffling disease, everyone with a part to play, doing for the alcoholic what he can do for himself. Those of us here can help you with that, because we have all been there ourselves. Every one of us is or was a co dependant enabler to some degree - letting our own lives and those of our children spiral out of control along with the alcoholic. A good place to start is the book "Getting Them Sober" by Toby Rice Drews. It is full of sound, practical advice and information about this disease. The name is a bit misleading - it's not about getting them sober, it's about stopping helping them drink. The 'getting sober' part is for them to do. And, of course, this board, and any alanon meeting in your town, for you and your mother will, I promise, help. Welcome, hope I didn't sound too much like a dash of cold water.
Most of the doctors I know that deal with detox are associated and work with detox units in hospitals. I would look into finding hospitals that have a detox unit. I know in my area, there are alot of good hospitals, but only one with a detox unit. The doctor that is associated with it, no longer does private practice, because as he told us detoxing on an outpatient basis is just not safe. My A actually died when he detoxed, but they brought him back. So please, look into doing this in a safe enviornment such as a detox clinic/hospital. My A (hubby at his worst) was not eating and drinking 24/7 when we got him in. I've been there.
I'm sorry I don't know where Allen is. (But if you send me a private message, I might know the area.) Please remember some people detox to get better just so they can go back out and drink. I pray and hope this won't be the case for your brother-in-law. There are many good long term recovery programs. But they have to be ready for it and want it.
I strongly urge you to take care of yourself and work your program. Your recovery has to be about you, regardless of your brother-in-law's recovery, or no recovery if he so chooses. You must not loose yourself in his disease.
Welcome to the family. Here you will find great strength, hope, encouragement, and humor (good for the soul). I encourage to go back to old posts to see what other people have been through. It was a source of great enlightenment for me when I first started on my journey of recovery, and my hubby started on his. I continue to learn from these remarkable people on a daily basis. Also if you come into the chat room, there are meeting times posted. Please join us. I know you feel overwhelmed, but have hope. Love and blessings to you and your family.
Live strong, Karilynn
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
When I worked for detox through the mental health center, we used Librium for detox. Yes, detoxing from alcohol can be very dangerous. The individual needs a medical detox so that there is qualified staff available for problems with dts, blood pressure, seizures...
I don't believe it is ever to late to stop drinking, but have seen much irreversible damage. Twice I have seen someone complete the entire rehab program and continue to have hallucinations and mental impairment. Our psychiatrists said that this was the effects of long time alcoholism. In those two cases, the symptoms will never go away.
I am not sure where you live but there are usually lots of programs that are open to anyone regardless of insurance (they get paid by medicaid) that offer detox. I am sure that he can access them if he wants to. I do think that is something of a paradox that he says he would not detox again when he is drinking himself to an early death. I know I can have the same skewed reasoning sometimes.
I think it is incredibly difficult to be around people who are in the end stages. I have a friend who chose to go home to take care of his brother who is the end stage of alcoholism. I often think of him and wonder how they are doing.
