Well as some know I gave the A a chance, allowing him to stay in my rental and cont. with its fixing up. The rental is on the corner of my property.

My son had patched every hole in the place and they were ready to texture and paint.

A was drunk last night. I said you are already blowing it. Well now this morn I go over to tell him to start on the electrical first. He is laying there in the dark with his vodka and oj and there is A HUGE HOLE IN MY WALL AS BIG AS HALF A DOOR. 

OH, hold me back I wanted to pummel him. He must have gotten mad and slugged the wall and just started tearing it out.

I said what have  you done???????!!!! He says, "oh I thought I would put some shelves in here."

clenching teeth, walk outside, pace and think. Go back to door, tell A to come outside.

Tell A get your stuff and get out. Every boundary has been broken. He starts saying it is his house and blah blah. Wrong thing to say, I am envisioning having to evict HIM now!

He decides to play nice, what can I do different, what can I do. I said you have until one oclock and I am calling the sheriff. It is ten till. His tail gate is down so hopefully  he is getting out.

Then I see him walking over here, begging as far as I can tell, it is stormy and windy so I yell I cannot  hear you, stay off my property. I can now get you for tresspassing. GET out of here I have nothing to say.

I feel nothing. I mean it. Serenity really is not just feeling safe and ok. It is knowing your own power and not allowing the disease to manipulate you anymore. this is my experience.

HE is scared as he has NOWHERE to go. His mom will not allow him there, she already has five extra people now. He can sleep in his pickup. He sure did not care when I was  homeless living in my barn.

I am so detached. I KNOW so well now what another bunch of alanon means. I have gotten where I know for sure he will never ever get anywhere until everyone and everything is gone for him. I can see now what makes it harder for them to be home and go to AA and be clean.     If he has to be this down and needs to go further to stop, then for him to climb back up, all he can concentrate on would be his program. Not me, not his son, not the world nothing but sobriety.

I know Getting Them Sober talks about this but I honestly hoped he would be able to get it together and still be around me and his family. not going to happen.

well it is ten after and he is gone. I am afraid he might have done more damage.

 I am glad he is gone. I noticed my anxiety was up, I could not sleep last night well at all. As soon as he comes here, eden is not sanctuary anymore. Now it can be.

I noticed something about me. I don't say no well. I seem to always want to give someone a chance. I believe I just learned to listen to my inside and remember to say no when I feel trepidation.DUH!!!

Thought about him here. Then his fil got out of detox and wanted to stay there too and clean and what ever until he got his bed at VA rehab.

In my mind I thought, Ok now what if they won't get out, so I can rent it. What if I have to evict them?

That is what I meant the A said the wrong thing when he said it was HIS house. BOOOOINNNNGGGGGG. NADA NO WAY, NO WAY IN H. I think all two feet of my long hair was on end. I turned around my stout little bod, in my overalls and pretty blue shirt and gramas pink pearls... and my little wolly slippers and walked home, yelling at him to pack up and get out!

"YOU ARE THE WEAKEST LINK!! GOOD-BYE!"  LOVES you all, yours, debilyn