My situation is this. I have an AD, in her late 30's, who lives in another state. When she is high, she calls or texts me nearly every day (wanting to share the un-ending chaos that is her life) then she sinks into depression and I don't hear from her for days. Then when she is taking too much of her prescription drugs (not prescribed for her) she goes into an ugly not phase where she re-lives every wrong she has suffered and becomes verbally abusive. An unending cycle but I feel I have done a reasonable job of detaching with love. She doesn't keep in contact with any extended family (grandparents are deceased, other relatives live in other parts of the country from her and from us). I don't bring her up and no one asks (having always lived so far apart, my family's and my physical paths cross only once every 3-5 years so we talk via emails, texts or phone and we just talk about things that we like to talk about with each other). Nor has she seen or spoken to her 2 younger siblings in a couple of years (as her disease has progressed, she stopped coming home for Thanksgiving or Christmas). She might send them a birthday text but they don't talk (she is 10 years older than her youngest sibling). She always SAYS she is coming home for holidays, but then doesn't show, and gives some excuse at the last minute which her siblings don't comment on. I don't quiz them as to what they think is wrong with her and they don't quiz me. Her youngest sibling (who is, shall we say, the exact opposite of her) is marrying this summer in a place where none of us live but I and my extended family will attend and she will be invited. I frankly doubt she will come, but if she were to show up, the truth is she has completely lost her capacity to see herself as others see her anymore. When she talks to me, I have to continually remind her/end the conversation because the only topics she has to share involve drugs, alcohol, people who engage in illegal or what I consider immoral activities. She lives a life of telling lies, manipulating people, and getting what she can from people. Her stories make me very uncomfortable (which I remind her of as I tell her I need to hang up). Oh, she also has physicall enhanced her body through surgery to the point where the enhancement is extremely obvious. I believe she will probably behave exactly this way at the wedding (if she makes it). I am mostly worried as it is her sibling's special day and the first time his new spouse's family will meet my extended family I have met them and they are exceedingly "normal" people, so I am concerned that she will bring embarrassment to her sibling and spoil the special day. I certainly wouldn't say "don't invite her". And, as i really cannot see into a crystal ball, I don't know for certain that she will behave inappropriately......but there is a saying about history repeating itself. Deep breaths and just let go?