The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
It's been awhile since I've posted. I'm trying to work my program every day. I'm learning alot about myself and also still have alot of questions.
My AH has been sober and in recovery for about 3 months or so. We are both trying but have a very long way to go.
One of the revelations about myself that I'm dealing with is that I have my own addiction and mental health issues. I could go to many different 12 steps programs.
So that leaves me frustrated and confused most of the time. So I have not been to meetings because I'm confused where to go. I'm trying to apply the slogans and steps every day and hope my HP guides me to where I need to be.
I know that I read this board and a few others almost daily.
(Ceelee)) I hear you and understand. I have heard alanon described as a simple program for complicated people.
Deciding on which program to particpate in is often confusing I know amny of my alanon friends had o leave alanon for a time and join AA as their primary program in order to grow and change Had a few who could only relate to ACOA meetings and they went there .
Please pray about this and believe that programs work
Hey (((Ceelee))) - good to 'see' you! I am a double winner so attend meetings from both AA & Al-Anon. Like Betty, I've seen others who do like me - attend both or lean into one for more support/focus. I truly do not think there is a 'wrong way' to recover - I over-thought it like many other things....the answers will come.
I tend to view my Al-Anon recovery as between me, myself and my HP. I view my AA recovery as between me, HP and Alcohol/Substances. I have been in AA longer than Al-Anon, and for me that's exactly how it had to be. I would not have been able to adequately find my truth, joy and serenity if I were still indulging in mood and mind altering substances/actions.
Keep coming back - it does work if you work it and as we always say - more will be revealed!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
One of the things that keeps me coming back is the simplicity. I love that Alanon literature is written in easy to understand text.
I struggle with AA Big Book. I just recently gave my AH my Alanon book to read the slogans. He was like "So that's what that means"?
I do struggle with making choices and I actually fit in a few more groups than AA and Alanon. However, Alanon will always be special to me. It opened my eyes.
Kind of like the toll gate that opened up to the bridge to get me to where I need to be, but there will be a few other exits I have to pass also.
I hear you and that's why I suggested there is really no 'wrong turns'...I had to be reminded that any recovery steps I took were far better than sitting still and overthinking it. I know some in my Al-Anon group also go to other groups - it doesn't come up in meetings, but rather in private conversations. I believe any effort we apply to making ourselves healthier is a good thing! Explore, enjoy, listen, learn - you'll find your sweet spot!!
(((Hugs))) - I readily admit - if I want to sleep, I pull out the Big Book (AA) and try to read while horizontal. It works well every time...I struggled with it for a long time - what really helped me was Book Studies - having others who had more experience share what the book meant to them gave me new insight into how to apply it to me/my life. It's a dry book - google the 12 & 12 of AA (available free online) - it's much easier to absorb and apply IMO...
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
So kind of like working on the self righteous attitude and lack of empathy,that caused me to shun my dying drug addict brother?
( That's the simple version) He died from AIDS Due to IV drug use.So a way I could make amends would be to possibly volunteer for an AIDS charity or something along those lines?
And when I feel that self righteousness moving in my heart and spirit try to stop it in it's tracks?
Sorry if I'm asking too much? I'm caught in the moment and don't want to lose these ideas.
I would chose Alanon over any other group because alcoholism is at the root cause of all my issues and it didnt even start with my ex husband. It started in my childhood brought up with a Mother deeply effected with her own isms. It also compliments AA in a way for example open meetings would allow you to go hear from his side, conventions where there are often speakers from both forums. The twelve steps have been closely adapted form the original AA steps. I think we could all qualify for many different groups but its Alanon that helps me address all my issues one day at a time.
Cee-lee - sure - why not? The way I reconciled recovery and multiple programs was that it's my goal/job each day to seek sobriety, serenity, sanity and to be of service. These 4 concepts are part of my morning prayers and meditation. This for me was how I melted AA and Al-Anon together.
When I consider what recovery means to me, it includes how I feel, how I act and how I help others. At any point in any day, when there is chatter in my brain, I literally call myself silly and restart with recovery 'action'. This may be self-care, literature, phone call, meeting, service, daily, etc. For me, I had to change everything about me as I had been programmed from a very early age with some of my unhealthy habits. It's all about progress, not perfection.
Life is busy and we are given numerous opportunities each day to practice recovery. It might be helpful for you to step over to the step work board (top right) and consider some writing on the steps. Betty posted Step 1 recently and she's post Step 2 two weeks from the first. It's a great way to truly consider each step of recovery, what it means, how it applies, etc.
For your specific example, I have one similar....I have an uncle who died early from alcoholism. He entered AA a million times, yet could never recover from the disease. When he passed, he left a lovely woman (my aunt) and 6 children (cousins). I spent many, many years of my life - in AA even - resentful over his 'choice' to not get recovery. I believed (ego/self-righteousness) that if I could do it, so could he....
It took me a few trips through the steps and a long while in recovery to receive the gift of complete acceptance and compassion. I no longer believe he was weak and a non-caring person. I full accept in my heart that he was sick and have total compassion for his passing from this deadly disease. These actions for me released the negative that hung in front of my brain, and released the happy memories I have of him before the disease completely took over! There were tons and while I can still be sad at how his life unfolded, now I can just as easily recall fun and happy times.
I will use any tool available from any program to redirect my thinking at anytime it's leaning away from center. I owe myself to do anything suggested to be at peace within my own mind, body and soul. (((Hugs))) - sometimes....the best I got in a given moment is literally just to breathe and smile...
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
