The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Been sorting and packing for another move to my boyfriend,s house. Came across some notes to myself just 1 yr into my relationship with my XAH. How could i be so stupid. I saw the red flags then and should have heeded them but i didnt. I went ahead and stayed with the guy and endured 25 yrs of misery before i woke up again. This relavation makes me scared. What if all my decesions are bad ones like that ? Been with boyfriend 14 months,because i have economic problems and also because " I Love Him" im moving in with him. He is not an alcholic,addict but has a hoarding problem. He is good,kind,thoughtful,supportive to me. Then, I thought my x was and i was fooled...
My former sponsor on this subject told me that when you find that you have made a mistake it is your responsibility to go back and correct it. Been there, done that and it worked!! Make a mistake? correct or change it.
(((Alyce))) - All I know is with each life phase and each chapter, I've learned more - about me, about life, about God and about relationships. I don't view anything I've gone through as mistakes now - I try to view what I've learned. Are there some lessons that are harder than others? Yes....but I would not be who I am without going through all that I've been through. I truly believe I am the sum-total of all my past experiences and each brought me close to God.
When in doubt, don't - that is a slogan I live by all the time. Only you can make the choices necessary for your state, your life and your future - and this time, you have a program and tools to use to live one day at a time!
Sending you positive thoughts and prayers!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
One of the things the program has taught me is that there are no "bad" decisions, only different consequences. You are not the same person you were 25 years ago, and the biggest difference is that you have the program behind you today. 35 years ago I thought I had the best marriage in the world and then found out that my husband was cheating on me. But...what seemed to be the end of my world was what led him into sobriety and the program. I can honestly say that I am glad it happened, but there was no way that I could see anything positive about it at the time. God certainly does act in mysterious ways.
I agree that you are not the same person that you were back then Yo have new program tools and and an ability to focus honestly on yourself .
Stay in your own hoola hoop and trust the process and HP.