The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
hi all, went to my f2f meeting last night, and it was probably the best f2f i have been to in my little town. We read the reading for March 21st out of ODAT and i felt like screamin YES!!!!!! tytytyty!!! In my small home group, we can have a tendancy to stay in the problem rather then the solution at times. I think since it is so small, we all get tired of hearing each others speals lol and i find myself at times wanting to plug my ears and not listen, rather think about what i'm gonna say, what i might be able to offer from my arsonal of slogans to help keep the meeting going. I tell ya, same defect, different way to apply it. Anyway, catching myself doing recently, i tried really hard to keep my mouth shut and my ears open.
What i heard was amazing, from a someone that i normally would wanta "plug my ears" while shes talking (Bad trina BAD) I was able to learn about having compassion and just be there for a friend that was hurting and I was able to work on my own defect at the same time. Quite a change when i stop taking others inventory for them. It really helps me to just stop thinking and start listening. I can not learn if not, sometimes i forget that i can learn something from everyone, no matter how far along in the program.
Now i just gotta keep the cotton in my mouth, well most the time at least lol, but for sure keep it out of my ears.
any who, i'll be taking the cotton out of my ears and sticking the cotten back in my mouth now so i can listen and learn better from all of you too.
((((((((((((((Trina))))))))))))))) I think you are a great listener and I really appreciate when you you have the cotton out of the mouth You have some great stuff!! Thanks so much!!!!!
I too am learning how to close the mouth and open the ears so I too can learn more!! I have to keep reminding myself Love you too a bunch!!
Great discovery Trina, and so true. I remember when I first started Al-Anon, quite full of myself and my pride, figured that I knew what everyone else should do.... I had no idea what to do to "fix" my own problems, but I sure could think out what everyone else should do, lol. Well, one meeting, a fellow and his wife were in there, and they were a couple who had gotten on my nerves several times before, and I had written them off as "not gonna help me"..... He was an Al-Anon, while she was a recovering A....
She shared first, saying that hubby had been really nice lately, and she was having difficulty in starting any fights..... He shared next, with a quiet smile about him, and simply said "I decided I wasn't gonna start anymore fights". It was classic, and sooooo simple. Not the solution for every time or everyone, but a good one at the moment. I was so impressed, and I remember realizing, that day, that I truly had to "open my eyes" more, and keep myself willing and able to learn from everyone.
There is not a person I have met through Al-Anon circles and beyond, who hasn't taught me something - when I am open to learning from them.
Thanks for sharing
T
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"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"
"What you think of me is none of my business"
"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"
Also good advice when your thinking of arguing balls and strikes. <grin>
Then again your a catcher and you know that as long as you don't hold the mit for ever or turn your head around when facing me you get a little more latitude. LOL
TFS this tho.
Bob
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You are a perfect child of God and God and I love you just the way you are! (added by me...in that special alanon way)
see ump, i was more of a "framer" then a holder or a looker. was on the sly side, ya know, catch it a bit far out then just ever so slightly turn the mit in a bit.....huttthummmm. I tell ya, was even trying to get over on people back then, covering up for the pitchers little mistakes, calling all the shots ect ect heehee too funny
love ya bunches and ty all for your responses too! trina
Your note reminds me of last Sunday - I had been helping a friend in crises channelling Al-Anon literature to her, being her voice of reason on the phone, etc., and so happy that giving her program info thru me was helping her out, and I was getting a book ready to loan to her, and for a joke/reminder, I was making a book marker out of a piece of duct tape. I had told her about keeping the duct tape roll on your wrist as a piece of jewellery to remind you to keep your mouth shut, and mind your own business no matter how hard it was. As I was making hers, I had a moment....and made one for me as I was laughing my butt off at myself.
I learned (re-enforced) a lesson about minding my own business. My friend has to seek out the Al-Anon meeting rooms herself, and I have to let her get to her "bottom", and I have to keep the focus on myself. I am happy to say she came to a meeting last week, and now I have to remember to keep focused on my own recovery as an ACOA, and stop caretaking.
