The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I have been sliding again and making a lot of mistakes. Seems like 1 step forward, 10
Steps back these days. Just when I think I'm moving along, I will fall back on old
bad habits. When I do this, I feel more out of control than I ever have, I think it's because I know better now & I am way harder on myself for doing things I shouldn't be doing.
Got weak at Christmas and told my ex it was ok to visit. My kids were with their dad this year, i didn't handle it well. My family Doesn't speak. i was lonely, depressed and instead of turning to my program, I turned to my messy will and let my sick thinking guide my decision making.
needless to say, it didn't go well. he wouldn't leave my house and I drank every day to numb myself.
I finally had to forcefully make him leave, get locks changed (I learned he has a key!) and a friend came to stay with me.
All my doing.
Recovered from my binge & got myself to a meeting.
i don't drink often, but when my kids are gone & times are down I will wreck myself.
anyway, I met a few really nice ladies. They suggested I put my Al Anon aside & focus on AA and sobriety for now. Double winners - is this common? One before the other?
Sarah - as a double-winner, I would tend to agree with them. As an alcoholic, our first priority always has to be to not drink. If anything/anyone is a trigger that makes that an option (a drink) in our minds, we truly must step away. I am sure they told you about playmates/playgrounds. I am sure they told you all kinds of suggestions - but the most important that works for both programs = One Day at a Time.
I was reminded this morning in a meeting that if you have one leg in the past and one leg in the future, you are P...ing all over today. As we only have today, it sure makes sense to not do that....
There is no issues at all with stepping up meetings for one side and stepping down for the other. It took me a while when I began Al-Anon to figure out how to process things in my mind because I tend to naturally complicate everything in my brain. I would literally be faced with a life issue staring me in the face, and try to determine which program tools to pick up. In reality, they are very, very similar and my simple answer became ... whichever one centers me the fastest. Whether it be prayer, a sponsor discussion, a trusted friend, literature, etc. -- There are no wrong answers.
I would suggest you try 90 in 90 - that was one of the first suggestions I got that I embraced religiously - I wasn't employed or employable so I went to 2-3 meetings per day. I know most folks don't have time for that but the meetings on the AA side saved my life. You are a bright, intelligent person - use whatever you need to to defend against the first drink and you will do well.
(((Hugs)))
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
