The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
My Husband is an alcoholic, not everytime but more often here lately when he is drunk, calls me everything in the book, accuses me of cheating, says he is leaving, got physical the other night, and I finally said I had taken all I was going to, I want a divorce, not going to take it anymore, he said he will quit and he did for a couple of days but back to it today, I can't live like this anymore, I love him like crazy but I am just at the end of my rope and I don't trust him anymore, any suggestions? New to all of this
So sorry that this awful disease has a grip on you and your spouse. There are online meetings available as well as podcasts (I got mine on iTunes years ago in the podcast section), I know that you can go to youtube and search for alanon speakers. At least it will put you in touch with the fact you are not alone and how alanon has helped millions of people heal throughout the years.
There is also Alanon Lit available that can help you understand the cycle of what is happening here you can find the pamphlets I believe and if you can read them online.
Other than that please know you are not alone nor do you have to be, big hugs to you.
S :)
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Faith minus vulnerability and mystery equals extremism. If you've got all the answers, then don't call what you do "faith". - Brene Brown
"Whatever truth you own doesn't own you" - Gary John Bishop
Welcome to MIP Jayne - so glad you found us and glad that you joined in and shared. Alcoholism is a chronic, progressive disease that is never cured. It can be treated through recovery but truly is never cured. The disease is bigger than the drinker - it's considered a family disease, which means it reaches beyond the drinker and affects almost all who love or live with them.
We have our own recovery program - Al-Anon. In Al-Anon, you will find others who understand what you are going through and can offer support and ESH (Experience, Strength & Hope). Please search out local meetings and give them a try. In Al-Anon, I learned a new way to think, act, respond vs. react and how to set boundaries for self. I also learned how to detach which truly helped me in the craziest of crazy moments.
We do not give advice with exception to personal danger/abuse. Please make sure you reach out to any local resources if you are living in an abusive scenario. It does sound that way yet I don't want to pass any judgement. Please take care of you and know that you did not cause any of this, you can not cure it nor can you control it (it= the disease).
Keep coming back - there is hope and help in recovery!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
