The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today's reading is about how many of us affected by alcoholsim are quick to take on as many responsibilities as possible-- if something needs to be done- we do it! One of the aspects of the program which is pointed out is that meetings, for example, are about shared responsibility. People pitch in. The jobs get done. Specifically concept 8 is mentioned and that it is about letting go and trusting others.
For me part of my experience with taking on too many responsibilities is because of my childhood and then my adulthood around active alcoholics. I mean to say- the typical codependent/enabler who would take care of everything around her because that's what I got used to doing. Even after coming to Alanon, I have noticed that i have a tendency to say yes to a lot, pile on little tasks and jobs- like I am afraid in a sense of any idle time. I am learning that first of all it is ok to say no to requests and there does not have to be any big reason why. One of the greatest things I have learned and incorporated into my life is the statement: 'no is a complete sentence'. Learning about what Serenity means for me has been an exercise in learning to just BE. And to be at ease with quiet time. I know that I have made at least a little bit of progress because in general when I know I do not want to take something extra on, I feel good when I can say no.
I hope everyone is enjoying their holidays-I know that for some this is a difficult time of year, and hope that if that is the case that the strength of the program and guidance of HP is a comfort.
Thanks for sharing your thougths on today's reading in HFT Not knowing hoe to delegate dn doing all the work was what kept me engaged and able to stay in my denial and prtend mode for a long tiem.
Entering alanon, learning to let go and to keep the focus on myself allowed me to begin to see how sharing responsibilities could be a great gift of this program. i sas that "Participation" was important so that t I must allow others to participate and do their share as well. That did not happen when I did all the work..
Something I learned in AlAnon was how and when to "do nothing", stop reaching outside of my circle and let others do things without my interference. Meetings and the fellowship are a good place for me to practice this by listening without interrupting, adding crosstalk, or feeling the need to give advice.
I am grateful to the program for helping me learn important life lessons that I did not learn on my own
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Paul
"...when we try to control others, we lose the ability to manage our own lives." - Paths to Recovery
Thanks Mary for your service and the daily. Thanks to all for your ESH.
I too took on more than my fair share. I believe it had to do with staying overly busy as a means to build myself up. I've worked hard to pause before committing to be sure it's what I want/need/should do. I work to balance service with fun + necessity....not always well but that's my goal.
I have gotten better at not owning other's 'stuff'. It takes practice, practice, and more practice but I've improved. I'm always grateful to see how lovely the daily readings remind us of what's important and/or a priority for our serenity.
My parents leave in 2 days - love them, love the visit but looking forward to my life/routine back! (((Hugs))) to all...
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
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