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Is it normal for a sponsee to be so dependant upon a Sponsor? The reason why I ask is because my gf keeps saying that her sponsor keeps her sober. Although I am thankful for this I do wonder how healthy it is to rely on someone else for your sobriety. I often feel that the relationship between my gf and her sponsor is bordering crossing boundaries. She broke up with her significant other per her sponsor. She can't make a decision without her sponsors input. It's almost like she gave up one addiction for another.
Don't get me wrong I want her to remain healthy and to stay sober but what about boundaries between Sponsor and Sponsee? Is it normal for them to spend so much time at one another's home? To the point of decorating, helping her move and dinner all the time? I'm just curious about the nature of a Sponsor and Sponsee relationship because this one I don't understand.
Hello Cynthia welcome, I do believe this question would be better answered an AA MIP board The relationship between the sponsor sponsee is different in Al-Anon and AA. IN Al-Anon we are attempting to recover from not taking care of ourselves and caring for others. this is a different symptom of the same disease and just as . Life-threatening If you are interacting with an alcoholic in recovery it might be wise if you can checked out alanon face to face meeting yourself. The hot line number is in the white pages
In alanon i was Very dependent on my first sponsor (but i knew on a deeper level i was really just dependent on higher power (god for me) working between us) .. that does change and is ok for a while .. if our leg is broken we use a crutch sometimes .. they are ok to use they help us walk .. in alanon we join a program where sometimes we're loved until we can learn to love ourselves .. greatful member of alanon here still in the 'process of learning to love herself ..
know and agree the aa sponsor sponsee relate is sometimes very different .. don't know much about that end either and if that is part of this then yes that piece would be better answered by them .. i spoze if alcs are learning to quit drinking, etc.. they too might really need a 'temporary crutch .. eventually our sponsors 'do fall off their pedstal (and become replaced by the aware of 'human' nature or of god working) .. as they should .. .. my view and still very much working through much in 'me ..
read nothing from this end which would be viewed as offensive (but i myself am 'not judging any thing as good bad right wrong including you .. ) .. takes courage to share ! thanks for sharing 'with us .. (trusting us with your share) .. such a gift when we all get honest with what's going on with 'us .. also grows us all a little 'wiser ..
.. my view and still very much working through much in 'me ..