Had a lovely thanksgiving with my boyfriends family.  They live about 1 1/2 hours away from here this was the first car trip of that length with the kids .. I wondered how we would all do in a confined space .. LOL.  It was a blast!  We would be fine .. my poor boyfriend would run for the hills. The kids are really relaxing with him and I am trying not to manage their budding relationships. I watched my son, my boyfriend and his dad do wood working together .. now this might not seem like a big deal however .. it really was I almost started crying, this is the first time I have watched my son interact with the man in my life on such a level.  It was interesting to watch him and his reactions .. again so how's it going boy .. him .. ehe .. LOL.  Hmm .. I know he was having more fun than ehe fun. 

It was such a nice time and relaxing to spend with people who were so kind and caring.  Food was great.  My daughter was in the kitchen more than I was and I left my son to learn to make candy even .. lol .. we will make the same recipe tomorrow.  It was a tremendous amount of fun.  I learned a few things about my guy and it was interesting to watch and listen to the family dynamics .. we giggled a lot about funny stuff.  Watched football which was something I don't do often however being part of a family was nice.  It looks like there will be more trips back which I am looking forward too.  I learned a lot as well which I am always up for .. being in the kitchen with someone who enjoys cooking was a nice treat.  I was even brave enough to have my daughter help with dinner tonight and that's something that is difficult for me to let go of, the mentality of it's just faster for me to do it myself.  I don't know how much of that attitude is about control and how much is about the issue of only child syndrome. 

There was some outside drama which I let my guy handle when we got home.  Before program I couldn't have done that .. walked away without having to have a say .. I still have a say .. however I am more prone to speak my peace and let the other person do what they need to do without feeling resentful about it.  Trust me it's really difficult to do.  I think what the last 5 years has really taught me is how important is it, .. is it a I need to die on that mountain top situation or is it a it's a quirk and it is either something I can deal with or not .. if not then I need to check my motives.  This has been a very different relationship for me and I really like it.  I find that we can actually talk about issues and then have a laugh over them.  That's what the last 5 years of dealing with the petty has brought me a different sense of priorities .. I really understand when Dr Phil now says do you want to be right or do you want to be happy.  I spent a LOT of time being right and it was a miserable time.   I have moments that I wish I could make an amends to my X and then he kills it .. LOL .. yes I know real mature on my part .. however we are headed BACK to court and I am less than pleased at this point.  He is a jackwagon with a JW in there and all of the other letters capped as well. 

The X text the kids on Thanksgiving and as far as I know they have yet to respond back.  He made a comment about needing to talk to them about Christmas and my daughter rolled her eyes.  I try desperately not to say anything, and at least now I can look at them and tell them things that they have about their dad that I like .. unfortunately, I look at him and I can't find those things so obviously I am still healing.  Court ending will go much further to say the least.  Anyway that situation is what it is and it won't end until after the kids are 18.  There is a part of me that looks forward to the shock of him finding out there is a steady man in my life.  After all if he didn't want me why would someone else.  After all I'm the issue the whole issue and nothing but the issue.  Oh well life moves forward and I am having a lovely time as it does. 

I am trying to figure out how to deal with my mom and I'm not doing well.  I need to make a point of calling however honestly there is nothing to say so I avoid and that doesn't work well for me.  It's less than fair for her.  I don't know .. I do the best I can, it's all about baby steps.  I don't trust her.  That's the end game right there, straight out of the box.  So I am still struggling with that as well. 

I was trying to think of a funny story and there were so many really.  Again just nice to be with a family only this one is interesting because they do not have secrets .. they put stuff on the table deal and move on .. I like that a great deal.  I like the fact that there is an elephant in the room pretending to be a coffee table and someone is not afraid to say .. who let the elephant in that is masquerading as a coffee table .. lol.  That feels really good.  I like the fact that they are so very warm and loving as well.  Which is how families should be, oh I'm sure there is dysfunction around there .. it's just different. 

It was very country living and while I like to visit that I couldn't live like that again .. I really do need people and the city life. 

Hugs S :)