The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
my story backs up to where most already remembers my xabf,I had asked for prayers from y'all,n that I'd fill y'all in later.here it is,my truth....I had my xabf back in my home,I know kickk me,lol,1000000s times,this time was ,not good.
running from law,hiding out,53 yo,got charges all over ,felonids etc....at least 6 yrs prison day for day,plus more yrs,not turning himself in,would rather die out here ,than die in prison at his age.
end of that story,sorry, he is gone now,some state way away.
i was needing the prayers for myself,I was scared,and him,he was pitiful .
i thank everybody for your prayers .worst part he hung at my neighbors next door,mostly,if he got eye contact with me here he would come to my house knocking,saying I'm hungry,can I have ice for my tea,or whatever,
i kept falling for it,why I don't know,and the very last time I let him in he stayed here for 4 days ,then I had him leave,i couldn't cope anymore,I had felt sorry for him,or empathy mostly,but the love I had was all gone,over with,no getting it back,he even tried rekindleing our love,didn't work.
my ?s are will I always be like that in a relationship,not wanting to see the stove is hot don't touch it ever again.
a lot of it as I'm thinking ,is that I get lonesome,he was convenient.
ive been struggling ever since he been gone with this awful lonesomeness,I'm sure to find things to fill it up with my time.
ive got plenty of interests,with projects,getting things ready to send to my daughter that lives over seas in Japan,
hoilday moveis on hallmark channel ,I love art thinking on starting it,and finding out where I can do service at for Christmas ,
and staying away from hot stoves,
i can get myself into sit.sometimes I wonder if I'm be able to always get myself out of them sit.
i believe the alcoholic does the same thing,sounds familiar as to how my qaulifiers would do things.
hugs......today Im lots stronger than I use to be thanks to alanon,steps,sponsor,and all the tools alanon has for us all to live fuller,happier meaningful lives.......for this I am grateful for........((((((()))))))Lu
Hey LU - we live, we learn. We take risks, get hurt, we learn. Life is for living and learning. When we are uncomfortable enough about a situation - any one of many - more is revealed and we grow and we learn. You got this. You now are free - free to do different next time and free to fill your life with lovely people, many blessings and joy.
(((Hugs)))
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Thank you IAH for your esh,and caring.
It's hard being alone ,this time around.
No where to go,darkens early.
It's been a long weekend here all alone,
It's better being alone than being with any active a,looking on the brighter side of it.
I can do it,and I will do it.
Right now y'all are all I've got Freind wize,I do need to get me some plans in place.like places to go,
A routine to start out everyday with till I go to bed at 8 or so,darkens at 5 pm,yuck,lol.
Thank you IAH for your esh,and caring. It's hard being alone ,this time around. No where to go,darkens early. It's been a long weekend here all alone, It's better being alone than being with any active a,looking on the brighter side of it. I can do it,and I will do it. Right now y'all are all I've got Freind wize,I do need to get me some plans in place.like places to go, A routine to start out everyday with till I go to bed at 8 or so,darkens at 5 pm,yuck,lol.
Good Idea Lu I find if I get up read my daily reader, come here and respond to messages, do exercise at home for an hour, shower and then off I go to yoga class, shopping. lunch with a friend a meeting then maybe the library, a movie etc you can develop a roguht draft adn add to it daily
Thank you Betty,
No yoga in town,,I've always wanted to join a yoga class,
I like your routine to,
I do the dailies ,I do forget some days,
I need to exercise,one thing I can add,
I do go shopping or wherever with my one Freind ,
Library,,,I dunno,nothing there that I'm interested in ,Internet has lots more.
Our library don't have anything just books.
I'm still considering moving
Just that I feel stuck in between right now,
My son n wife bought a place way on south of me,would love for me to be closer to him,it's a huge town,with lots to offer.
Then there's this my home I call it way on north of me I so would love to be at,have lots of good ppl that live there,never see them but I've always considered it home,huge town also,with lots to offer.
Still downsizing,one day it will happen.nothing,nothing,here in this town anymore.
LU - routine and structure helps me tons....I feel a bit lost when I set aside my routine, and try to only do so when I have better plans or when I am sick. I get up, make coffee, do my readers and do a work-out before I get online. My business is online so (as an obsessive person) I do my program/me stuff first before I get on the computer.
I know what days I have plans and make meetings and program appointments priority and then fill in around them. I love music and reading so spend time often (winter....don't like the early darkness either) doing one of these too. My social circle shrinks in the winter time as most of my softball family is seasonal....ha.ha.ha...
What I have found is when I asked at a meeting recently if anyone had interest in grabbing lunch, coffee, dinner, movie - people were thrilled that someone suggested it. We are actually going out for tacos Monday evening - just because. We have pot luck on Wednesday. Many in recovery feel 'alone' - and I love the 'let it begin with me'!
One gal even said to me that she was so happy to find others to share a meal with! I had not given thought to those who live alone and how nice a meal with another would be - just hadn't given it a thought.
Reach out - it's amazing how quickly I found healthy things to do with myself and my time once I was ready. Volunteering is also a big part of my winter as I certainly am not golfing or playing ball so have the inclination to help others and fill voids!!
(((Hugs)))
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
I guess I times get mind fog,as to not thinking,
There is things to do,
Thanks IAH for sharing your routine as well,( lol@ seasonal ), also great you will have that to always look forward to come spring/summer.
Being ready is so right ,I have got classes I can take suppose to start back hopefully this week,
And I'm wanting to serve,do some volunteering,that I'll have to check into,
I so need structure also.
I've had lots of opurtunities to use my tools also,very exciting .
Seemed they came from no where,but wa present when I needed them,
My recovery has been #one priority in my life this past year,still today ,
I do work on my step work and read my lit every mornings,and nights,
I probably should have a set time for working program?,like 1 hour,30 mins,etc.
I dearly love this board,tend to want to spend most of my time here,Reading posts,searching words of recovery using search bar,reading over my old posts from way back 2008- on up,step work,list goes on,
Wow,I've glued myself to my recovery,and that's ok,I've soo needed it ,
Already feeling a bit better,seeing a lot already,so much more aware.list goes on.
I revolve everything else around this ,unless I'm away from home for days I don't get on here no internet,
I think I have withdraws ,I'm anxious to get home to my wifi,lol.
Or I'm sick,
I'm sure it will slow down a lot onced I finish my steps.....................
