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Hi everyone, I have been going to several F2F Meetings and am not having any luck acquiring a sponsor. I believe I am doing everything correctly and listen/share at meetings and then politely ask people after the meetings if they are taking on any new sponsees. Everyone who I ask tell me that they unfortunately do not have time and have several people they are already helping. I have attended different meetings also. I would even be happy with an online sponsor who I can email with.
If anyone is available to assist me, please let me know.
My story is not too complicated. ABF has been drinking after being sober for many years. I am just trying to learn to focus on ME! :)
Perhaps you would consider looking at this from a different angle? Perhaps it's a reflection of your need to sponsor some one? To be in service? It's in service to others we get our own needs met. Perhaps your HP knows you are ready to focus on yourself by helping another?
Right on Geems..that is in fact how recovery works a lot of the time and still to keep it honest having a sponsor lets us know first hand what it is like from the experience of others. I have had more than several sponsors even a female and now a very experience sponsor younger than myself after an elder sponsor passed away. Much of the experiences I share with a sponsee came with the relationship working with a knowledgeable sponsor. Two members working together can get recovery done. (((hugs)))
Also FWIW (For What it's Worth) there is a step board here - look to the top right. Hotrod (Betty) has just posted Step 1 last week or this week. You are welcome to do some work there if you want - doing the steps multiple times has been freeing for me. Each time I look at the step, I have a different view of me, where I was, where I am and where I want to be.
I also agree that two members working recovery together can get it done!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Ok, then I am totally confused. How in the world would I be able to sponsor someone when I only know a tiny bit about Alanon from attending 5 meetings and reading this board? I have not been taught anything about step work. I was just hoping for guidance through this chapter in my life.
-- Edited by funandsun on Thursday 8th of September 2016 03:03:33 PM
I agree that would be very challenging to do. I would be willing to work with you temporarily until you find a sponsor in a face to face meeting. I know that sometimes takes some time. I sent you a private message through the site if you are interested.
Hi Funandsun, welcome to al-anon! When I first started al-anon about 8 years ago, I asked several people to be my sponsor and they all said no. I felt so vulnerable and it took me so much to reach out that I felt very hurt by their rejections. I stopped asking after 5 said no. I stayed in al-anon and just went to meetings and worked the steps on my own. I stopped going after a few years (partly because I felt much better and partly because I had no personal connections in al-anon outside of the meetings). I came back in the last year and was determined to get a sponsor. The first person I asked said yes, and we met for a few weeks, but it wasn't what I wanted. I asked another person who also said yes. We've met once so far and I think this is going to develop into one of those great relationships. So from my experience, it made me feel like there was something really wrong with me when people said no (after hearing how important that relationship is); I guess my HP was working in a mysterious way. It took me 8 years to find someone! I hope you can find someone faster than I did. Good luck, hang in there, and keep trying.
Until I acquired my first sponsor I got a lot of "noes" when I asked and that didn't stop me from forming relationships with others who had been in program for a while and who were willing to share their ESH with me. I grew from it and then found a member who said "yes" to my request for sponsorship and then that person "fired" me a bit after because it wasn't a good fit (I agreed) and they led me to my second sponsor and put us together. I would not have asked the second person to sponsor me however staying with the relationship made all the difference in the world for my recovery. "Its a God thing" we use to hear said in the program very often and trusting God most often for me is a large part of the work. Keep on keeping on. ((((hugs))))
