The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today's reading is on the topic of emotions and feelings. Many of us who grew up in an alcoholic home or live/lived with an alcoholic partner have become experts at denying our feelings. For some of us that may mean ignoring feelings and emotions, for others it may be recognizing the feeling, then immediately stamping it out.
For me, it was some combination of the above but generally it was more about turning the feelings inward, ruminating and stewing about things, not ever expressing what was happening for me right at the time it was happening. The thought for the day is a reminder that when we deny any negative feelings we may be having, we also risk shutting out the positive. Many many years ago I remember confiding in my sister about something that was upsetting to me. She gave me some very simple and great advice-- 'feel the pain. Don't fight against it. Let yourself get through it and you will'.
the quote from Alateen reminds us that recovery is 'from the inside out'. Because I know the inside means the depth and breadth of me, I recognize it won't always be easy. I am grateful that I'm walking with all of you on this 'from the inside out' journey.
Good morning Mary - you have a lovely Tuesday too! Thank you for your service, your ESH and the daily. I can relate to stuffing feelings or ignoring them completely. For me, some of those stuffed feelings came out later, unexpected and overstated, often in response to something completely different than what caused the first set of feelings....
Emotions for me are tricky. Because I've spent so little time understanding the value they bring in my growth, I have to pause at times to determine what I am really feeling, is it logical or fear-based and what part of it is mine? I spent so much time focused on what others were/were not doing, my go-to feeling was anger. The program helped me go a step beneath and see that anger was my surface reaction, but often my real feeling was much different - sadness, exhaustion, fear, etc.
Today, I try to identify where I am, and just walk through it. I have slowed my pace greatly in recovery so I don't miss the beauty/joy of events around me! Life is truly good and now when I have a negative feeling, it's OK - it's a sign for me to realize I have some work to do!
Make it a great Tuesday! I've got to run to the store, having lunch with a friend and playing softball tonight! Great day and we have great weather here too!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
