I thought I would post an update as have not posted for quite a while.  It has been about 8 months since AD entered into a program of recovery.  She is doing very well.  Seems to have really embraced the 12 step program.  She attends meetings, has a sponsor, has returned to school and generally is carving out a life for herself in sobriety.  Our relationship has improved tremendously and we are getting back the closeness that we once shared.  She is a long distance away from us now, something that I never thought would happen or desired but I now believe hp doesn't always give you what you want he gives you what you need.  The physical space has allowed me to detach in a healthy way and has forced her to mature and grow up I believe a lot quicker then if we were close by.  As time goes by I am slowly starting to relax and step back and not be waiting for everything to come crashing down.  I am in a much better place then I was a year ago.  I work hard to stay out of her recovery and focus on myself.  I am thankful everyday for her sobriety and my recovery.  There is hope for those whom have loved ones not in recovery.  I not too long ago felt that nothing was ever going to change.  but it did... and it wasn't due to me lecturing, giving advice and trying to force solutions.  She did it on her own without any guidance from me just loving support and surrendering . She is teaching me to accept life on life's terms and live in the moment.  I am grateful.