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Hi all, I am mother of 2 girls and separated from my spouse since for 10 months. He has continued to spiral out of control. I am trying,one more time, in a last attempt, to send him to rehab. He has had 5 DUI's and the last two in the past 3 months. I am going to tell him via email he can't visit our girls unless he goes to rehab. I am sick worried and scared. Looking for support!
Hello frogswim Welcome I am glad that you reached out and shared. I so understand the confusion and anxiety that confronts anyone living with the disease of alcoholism. Alcoholism is a chronic, progressive, fatal disease that can be arrested but never cured. We who live witht he disease require a program of recovery becasue of the diffiuclt situations that we face on a daily basis.
It is fine that you are suggesting that your partner attend rehab and I would like to suggest that you search out alanon face to face meetings in your community and attend. It is here that I finally broke the isolation caused by this disease and developed new tools to live by . Keep coming back--- You are not alone
THANKS Betty! I will reattend alanon in time. I listen to the pod casts often but have been too busy to attend. I have had too much on my plate. I have had to sell my house, buy a new place, work, get counseling for my self and my girls, sports, etc...... OH, and, I have yet to tell them they will be attending a new school next year, also. All of this because of his addictions. He is in really bad shape. Soon, he will be in jail or dead, if he doesn't do rehab. I have tried and tried. But now it is so severe and I am trying to let go and let God!! Some days it's easier than others....
Thanks for the support!
I think the hardest thing I had to learn in my relationship with my X was to just let go and allow him to deal with his mess. It didn't matter what I did or didn't do he was going to do what he wanted and I am powerless against the disease of addiction.
It sounds like you have a LOT on your plate. First thing first comes to mind as a slogan. Do what you need for you and your kids first .. let him sort out his stuff. You might be right .. he could wind up dead or in jail .. those are his choices in the diseased thinking .. I guess I have a weird quirk that way once I detached it's not coldness I feel it's just more it is what it is and I had to save myself and the kids first. He had to deal with whatever .. my X is doing well. He doesn't have a relationship with the kids and we are all ok with that.
So just keep taking care of you and the kids first and then allow things to fall where they may .. not your circus .. not your monkey's .. the best you can do is pray for him give him to his HP and just try to stay out of it. Let him figure it all out and he will be a better man for it.
Hugs S :)
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Faith minus vulnerability and mystery equals extremism. If you've got all the answers, then don't call what you do "faith". - Brene Brown
"Whatever truth you own doesn't own you" - Gary John Bishop
I too am sending prayers and positive energy your way! I am one who always hopes for the best but has a Plan B just in case!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Thanks All! I am doing better and know that I have to stay focused on move forward. I appreciate the support, I really do! I am at peace, today, with whatever happens to him.
I am gently telling my girls how daddy is sick, not well and that he doesn't show up for visits because of his health. I am making time for extra hugs, snuggles and telling again and again how important and loved they are!!
I am blessed and grateful for my 2 beautiful children, my health, my fabulous family, friends, and support!!
I know this is going to be a roller coaster....but today, is good and I am blessed. Peace!
