The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today's reading is about how some of us dealt with the alcoholism and As in our lives by shutting down our emotions completely. This reading focuses on grief and the importance of allowing ourselves to grieve. The reading points out that expressing grief allows us to heal. The thought for today reminds us that : 'the feeling of grief can be an affirmation of forgiveness and reconnection.'
I have noticed that sometimes grief sneaks up on me. I can be making my way through a typical day and be overcome with grief for- my broken marriage, what I perceive as lost opportunities, loved ones etc. What I have noticed is that the most healing I feel comes when I walk through the grief and do not try to avoid it. Knowing that grieving is part of recovery helps me work through it.
Thanks for sharing this important message Mary. I too find grief over the loss of my son creeping up some days and instead of shutting down and "pretending" as I once, I feel it, share about it and it lifts. I am then left with a warm loving memory.
i am grateful to alanon for providing me with the tool and supportive community to do this.
It is sunny here today and I am off to the beach. Thanks for your service.
I am sharing that I am jealous about the beach Betty. I had to get that off of my chest. I have three days until I am out of school for the summer and then I intend to turn into a beach bum again!
Under the greif I found accusation which needed my own forgiveness and gods love. It is indeed better to tend ones self lovingly rather than dismissively bottle. Thank you for your service.
I have to admit that I too am jealous of the beach.....just had to get that off my chest!
Thank you Mary for the daily and for your service and ESH. I did not know how to process feelings before I got in recovery. As a child, like many, we were taught to stifle our emotions, suck it up, chin up, etc. So I felt like a child in recovery when I had to grieve the loss of my hopes, dreams, marriage, etc. I was very grateful that while I was learning to feel and heal, I was also learning that many of my dreams were not realistic - with an A or with anyone. I think I spent too much time watching TV as a kid - I wanted a prince charming, a white horse, etc. Happy Ever After kind of life.
I am grateful that I can now find good in everything. When things are going different than planned, I can look for lessons. When things are going better than planned, I am full of gratitude. When the sadness/grief raises up, my sponsor always suggests walking through it with grace and that it's OK to feel whatever I feel. They key for me is to identify the feeling as my first reaction is often anger - for everything.
I hope everyone has had a blessed day! Here is to dreams of beaches for us all!!! (((HUGS)))
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Someone once said I didn't have to "suffer my suffering".
it's an old Buddhist concept about being so "out of our minds" through insane controlling behaviours, or the sheer dysfunction that arises in alcoholism - that we never take time just to figure out why we think like we do, or make the choices we make.
When I am in grief, I am almost hyper conscious of feeling - and if the grief is deep enough, I am at a high level of receptivity.
That's why i came to Al-anon when I was in such an enormous amount of pain I had no clue how to take a next breath.
For example,I am a really artsy person - its what i do for a living and hobby and everything in between. I cant help it.
So, when grief comes, i tend to create draw write paint - express more honestly, and just more creativly. Not in a way to escape but as a way to process my experiences. And it seems that allot of the stuff is pretty relatable, which helps others who feel the losses, be not so lonely.
A benefit of grief - I'd say. Because I'm certainly not the only one who in some way isn't somehow changed by grief.
But - finding a way that the pain of it can help others somehow feel better, is greatest feeling in the world.
So, grief has been really important in my discovery of the fact that no matter what happens to me, if I surrender what I think (which is most likely based on seeing something wrongly in the first place, so I'm off track allot more run on self will, than if I let my heart/intuition/greater vision - taught in the twelve steps, guide me.
I have seen an awful lot of grief lately. In fact, just today i was with my brother n palliative care. he told me he was tired and asked to be taken off the meds that had been keeping him alive for 6 weeks. it was a conversation filled with grief and love and letting go and then more love.
The grief was in its pure form, while looking in his eyes and actually talking about him being gone - transformative. It all felt so open an dhonet and wonderful and sad and awful. Like all those experiences at once.
The serenity prayer is sort of like rolling mantra for me right now.
very grateful.
thank you for your service.
