I've never really discussed our differences here always allowing abf all the control he wanted in my home and outside,we have so many differences and he has some great qualities ,I still have to take care of me and look out for my wellbeing ,and even though I love him it's really only a part of him that I love or more lesser part of him that I'm in love or think I'm in love,I've never knew what having a healthy relationship is or how to have a healthy relationship,I do know there's deal breakers in a healthy relationship and respect is another and boundaries so many things to consider and I really do need time,and I have my own adult child issues to deal with,I've had to really study upon this ,lol,it's unreal to me what's all involved in having a relationship and all I do know just from lots of experience if it never worked all the other times we parted why would I even want to give it another chance? Just going down the same road ,insane,so far he hasn't come back thank gosh and I know he is wondering what happened I hate to put anybody through this again I'm not taking all the blame either cause he didn't ask to stay the night but told me he was staying all night which I didn't respond to him.thats one of my boundaries that im trying to stick with with all I got is no man staying all night at my house,seems xabf doesn't hear me or don't want to and don't care about my feelings here either ,.the 1st day to visit each other and already I was wondering about what he was up to with his texting on his ph. And talking and walking away with his ph ,disappearing next door not telling me he left and stays gone for a good while I'm thinking he just up and gone with out saying goodbye.and it seems it all starts again ASAP xabf ways are just way to much for me to deal with ,it may just be me I dunno but before when he stayed here I was being told that he was dealing drugs outside my home ,that's putting my life and freedom in jeapordy so for me to tell him that he would denie anything and he is a master manupulater ,very convincing of lies.so really I don't want to knock nobody any farther down than he already is but I have to take care of my best interest to so that being said the best thing for me to do is to keep it simple by telling xabf that I'm not ready for anything at present and that I need time ,time out of relationships ,that I have a lot to work on myself before I can even consider another relationship and lay down my boundaries as to what I will and won't allow in a friendship ......sorry it's so long but had to come back and rewrite it ,hopeing this sounds better.......smiles and hugs...lu