The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
As I like to do, I am going to flip flop today a bit....
Today's Quote is so powerful ===== "Once we learned to see our situation as it really was, we understood why it was necessary for us to turn to a Power greater than ourselves." --- from Al-Anon's Twelve Steps & Twelve Tranitions
Today's Reminder ---- I am responsible for taking the actions necessary to keep myself safe. But when my safety is not at risk, I can take time to make choices about my responses. I don't have to react instantly to provocation, and I am not obligated to justify myself to anyone. By turning to my Higher Power for protection, rather than my wits or my will, I avail myself of the best possible defense.
Today's reading discusses Step One through Step Three, where we admit we are powerless over this disease. We do not have the strength necessary to fight it, and defending ourselves by engaging in arguments with active/irrational people is fruitless. Only a power greater than ourselves can restore us to sanity. The reading suggests that an alcoholic will go to any lengths to keep family and friends from interfering with their drinking, and we can choose to not react, argue or defend. When we do, everyone is distracted from the disease, and instead we get stuck in the pointless argument/discussion. What we defend against we make real.
This is a great reading to remind me how powerless I am over the disease. However, when I work this program, and realize my part - I can begin to turn my will over to a Higher Power, and arm myself in the best way - with him in charge of the outcomes. Before I came to this program, there were fights in my home about everything from dinner to weather. The disease had created enough insanity that arguing and disagreement had almost become sport, and everyone wanted/needed to be right.
As I began to understand how the disease reaches well beyond the A, and how I contributed to the insanity, I also realize that while I was powerless over the disease, I had all power with God to be different, do different and have different. Alcoholism is a lonely, isolating disease - typically the A will drive away anyone that loves them or cares about them. We tend to follow the lead, and also isolate as the reality is too much to face. With the Al-Anon program and the support of others in it, I came to find out I did not have to isolate or feel shame about my situation or my A. I could hold my head up proudly, be who I was destined to be and let go of all that was beyond my scope/control.
Al-Anon freed me from the bondage of my own feelings, thoughts and perceptions about the diseased and the disease. I no longer have to be right, I no longer need to point out the obvious, and I certainly don't need to let my A know how sick they are or how they should be. They have their own journey as do I, and detaching while working the program has given me a serenity and peace I did not know I could have.
By accepting how powerless I was over other people, places and things, I became powerful for my own journey. By owning my insanity caused by this disease, I learned to be/act/react differently. And by embracing and practicing turning my will over to a Higher Power, I've become more grounded and at peace. Thank you MIP and Al-Anon for the gifts of Letting Go and Letting God.
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Great reading and share IAH!! Thank you. The agree that the first 3 Steps are golden. Once I finally understood and accepted my powerlessness I could see the power of this program and understand that I did not have to "like" the concepts but I needed to merely stop fighting reality. Naturally accepting this reality was not easy as I grew up with the idea that i was responsible for everything and that accepting reality was like being defeated. Alanon taught me differently . Thanks for your service. Have a great Friday
-- Edited by Iamhere on Sunday 31st of January 2021 01:19:02 PM
This is what I needed to read this morning. Thank you for sharing IamHere
"I don't have to react instantly to provocation" I have the hardest time remembering this when the provocateur is someone close to me despite seeing how things almost always escalate as a result. I want to do this differently.
I, too, grew up with "If you don't like something, change it" coupled with "you can do anything you set your mind to". If something wasn't changing it must be because I hadn't tried hard enough. Trying to live by this combination - and expecting others to do so as well - has resulted in a lot of perceived failure and resulting disappointment. Much to think about and sort out here.
Wow. This sure did help me today. "I don't have to react instantly to provocation". That is certainly something I am constantly working on, especially with my son.
As BetterBunny shared, I grew up with the same words, "If you don't like something, change it". Well, we can't change people, can we? I tried and tried with my ex-husband, and I've tried and tried with my AH. I've even tried with my son. I cannot change any of them. All I can do is change the way I react to them. I've been doing an awful lot of praying regarding this. God needs to change my heart, and give me the patience and courage to do what is best for me.
