The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I think my boyfriend may be alcoholic. He has a high stress c-suite job. He drinks 750ml of either tequila or bourbon in 2 nights.
But he never gets violent or even angry. He gets up and goes to work every morning. So I question that I even question him.
He slurs and stumbles. It worries me because I fear for his health. He's adopted with no way to know his family health history. That much alcohol must be bad for him, right?
Am I making a big deal out of nothing?
Hi Poptart if his drinking is bothering you then it is important for you to seek help for yourr fear and anxiety. I suggest that you search out alanon face to face meetings in your community and attend The hotline number is found in the white pages. It is here you will find literature and the support you need that will help you to understand the disease of alcoholism and how it affects everyone in the family.
You did not cause this you cannot control it and cannot cure it The best you can do is keep the focus on yourself and live one day at a time .
I echo what hotrod said. It's really up to you to decide whether this is a problem for you, and Al Anon can help with that. Worry for his health is legitimate, alcohol can cause all sorts of health issues. But he is in charge of his life and he will have to find out for himself whether this is bad for him or not. In the meantime, getting more education and support for you is of utmost concern.
An ability to drink a huge amount without being hugely impaired means he has been drinking a huge amount for a long time. Sadly, unless arrested by abstinence, it only gets worse.
I hope you will find a face-to-face meeting. There is great hope for your serenity and happy life. Start learning all you can about alcoholism, reading on these threads, gathering the tools to cope with it all, and find a meeting that is a good fit for you. Hope you will take good care of yourself.
Welcome to MIP poptart - glad you found us and glad you joined. Betty and Kenny have shared what we focus on - ourselves and our own heath and well being. How much another drinks and how often they drink is certainly a factor for determining addiction, but what's most important is how you are affected. In Al-Anon we learn about the disease of alcoholism and how to manage our lives when the drinking of another bothers us.
Al-Anon is the only place I felt safe to share and found support with no judgement and no opinions/advice. Keep coming back - you are worth it!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Yep when it effects you than there might be a problem. My son has stopped drinking and is doing great but he is still under my roof and I find myself upset being around him all the time. I think when you put so much time to another person is effects your health and happiness way to much so continue to focus on you and not on others no matter what the situation is.
Al-anon is the ticket to your happiness no matter what go's on around you.
Take care.... HUGS
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Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth
Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.
Your chat room name suggest a person with a great sense of humor and then your share suggest that problem; alcoholism, that we all suffer from. We first learn that we are powerless over "them and their life threatening problem of alcoholism" and we go on to learn more if we are willing to. I learned that it wasn't the things that didn't happen which were trouble some and those that were. Alcohol is mind and mood altering regardless of the body that it is affecting and it also alters everything else around it. You are affected and for most of us when we discovered we were also we came together in the Al-Anon Family Groups and worked it to get much better regardless if the alcoholic was still drinking or not. We found out and admitted we were powerless over them and it and fired ourselves from being their directors. The suggestion of Al-Anon Family Group face to face meetings is our experience which worked wonders. I was told to attempt 90 groups or meetings in 90 days and to see how things went after that and it worked. It didn't stop my alcoholic/addict wife from drinking and using though she did get clean and sober later. It stopped me from getting in and messing around with her life...that helped her too. Keep coming back. This works when you work it. We are often here to help. ((((hugs))))
