This could apply to any of you as you deal with your alcoholic or even dry drunk, but what I'm about to tell you is about my teenage son (almost alcoholic, definitely a dry drunk in personality the last two years and weed smoker). Last night he didn't have to work at his part time job and of course went out with his party boy buddies who all had today off high school due to having a P.A day. When he was leaving the house I wasted my breath and told him to be home by 11 PM because even though he had the next day off school I still had to be up for work at 6 AM and don't like my sleep disrupted by hearing him come in late. I knew as I said it and even before I said it that it fell on deaf ears but I couldn't stop myself from saying it anyway! (Yeah still trying to exert some sort of control over an uncontrollable situation!) Anyway I feel asleep on the couch with my loving loyal dog about 9:30 PM out of sheer exhaustion and by 1 AM woke up with a jolt realizing my son had not come home yet--- yeah that mother thing kicks in when our kid is still out and if we're sleeping it wakes us up better than any alarm clock! I text him to get home to which he replied "later". Normally I would have ranted at him on text or called him to rant as that's what I've always done before but something in me said no, don't do that this time and I listened to that inner voice. I got up and made myself a cup of tea then text him "then sleep out at a friend's house. Goodnight." and I locked the screen door so that he couldn't use his key to get in the inner door. At 2 AM I heard his friends pull up in their car--- yeah they have to let the whole neighbourhood know they exist of course with hooping it up etc when they drop him off! Attention seeking little jerks! He discovered the screen door locked so started banging on it then yelled out to his friends who were still in the car at the street "OH MY GOD! SHE IS F**KING NUTS!!! SHE LOCKED THE SCREEN DOOR SO I CANT GET IN THE BIG DOOR WITH MY KEY!!!!" My dog just turned and looked at me during all that --- never barked once. I did notice that and realized that's what she has done before during his scenes. He kept banging on the screen door, started yelling "MOM'!!' LET ME IN!" Then started also knocking on the front picture window and yelling "MOM!!! OPEN THE DAMN DOOR!" I noticed a few lights go on at neighbours houses and he had every dog on the block barking and even though they are all inside their houses at night I could still ear them barking out their windows! My dog sighed. She often does that when he starts yelling! She didn't even bark because the other dogs in the neighbourhood were barking and she always does bark if they are barking about anything other than my son. That fully dawned on me last night. Then his friends started tooting the horn on the car and yelling for me to open the door for him too! For the sake of my poor neighbours whose sleep was being disrupted with this disrespectful nonsense I opened the door. He reeked of alcohol and was mouthy about being locked out. Our dog once again only sighed. He stumbled over to the couch where our dog was laying there looking at him and he tried to kiss her on her nose but she turned her head away and got up and walked to the other side of the room, laid down and stared at him. He then went into his bedroom and shut the door. My dog then came over to me and licked my face. It dawned on me then that this is her pattern, her way of dealing with him --- happens every time-- when he is sober and not dry drinking either she adores him, she cuddles with him, licks his face, wags her tail when he kisses her on her nose --- she absolutely loves him and I have to say he is always good with her --- he doesn't dry drunk her or be mean to her at any time--- it's not in his basic nature to be mean to animals as he has always loved animals like I do. BUT when my son is dry drunking at me or comes home drunk or high on weed our dog always does the sigh thing, she always turns her face away from him when he tries to kiss her nose and she gets up, walks away from him then sits or lays there and stares at him. Note: she does not growl at him, does not hit at him with her paws, does not bark at him, does not snap at or bite him--- she merely sets her boundaries by turning her face away from him when he tries to kiss her nose then she walks away but still gives him her attention and love by staring or looking at him. When I finally realized that last night I thought wow! She is detaching with love! My dog has mastered the Al-Anon program and has never stepped paws in a meeting and I don't think she reads the literature when I'm not home! Lol. So I am going to take a lesson from her --- I'm going to stop growling at him, no more barking at him from me--- oh God it's going to be hard but I'm going to focus on my dog's detaching methods when it happens again and follow her cue! I've always known animals are smarter than most of mankind gives them credit for and they love unconditionally but I didn't realize they even know how to deal with alcoholics, dry drunks and pot heads! Well mine does! Love that dog so much and realized she teaches me some lessons!