I joined MIP a little over 3 years ago.  I have also been in face to face meetings with Al-Anon, AA and ACOA.  None of this makes me a hero, but it does help me to understand why people become addicted, how it affects the whole family and how to survive.

A year ago this July 14^th I lost one of my best friends to Cancer.  I watched her go through chemo, surgeries, medication, highs and lows.  She fought stomach cancer for 2 years and lost her battle.  I have never lost a friend before and it was and still is very devastating.  She was an inspiration to me and was a little fire cracker.  I feel so privileged to call her my friend.  She has a wonderful family.  I know her husband, her children and her grandchildren.  There is a lot of love in this family.  She had two goals last year to make before she passed on.  She wanted to see her granddaughter born and to turn 61.  She achieved both of those and I was so glad for all of them.

Both of my parents drank a lot when I was growing up.  I have written about my family many times.  When you are a child growing up with this a person just thinks this is normal, but of course it is not.  I married my ex-husband a year after we graduated high school.  He too became an alcoholic.  We lasted 5 years which was way longer than we should have.  He died 3 years ago with an alcohol related illness.  Last night I was thinking about my parents both are deceased and the ex and I forgave all 3 of them.  To hold a grudge and feel angry just harms me.  It does nothing to them.  They all did what they did and now I go on.  My husband has had a problem with drinking over the past 10-11 years.  To say the least this has really beaten me down.  I have cried and yelled many, many times.  I also was the alcohol police which makes no sense at all today when I think back on it.  I feel that I now can say that I trust my husband maybe not 100%, but close to it.  I feel my respect for him growing and also my love.  I thought of throwing in the towel, along with many years, quite a few times.  It is still one day at a time and probably will be for the rest of my life. 

Al-Anon has taught me many things.  I still believe that I would not be here today had I not made the first phone call and attended my first face to face meeting.  Al-Anon helps not just with addiction in our lives, but it also helps in our personal life as well.  I look at life a completely different way than I did all of those years ago.

I know this is a long post but I wanted to jot down some of my thoughts.  I think we all need to not sweat the small things.  We need to educate ourselves regarding the addiction, read, read and read some more.  Not all alcoholics are going to move on and get help.  My parents did not and neither did my ex-husband.  One thing I learned this year in losing my friend is that life can be gone in a second.  We need to live life to the fullest.

Thank you for letting me be a part of MIP.