The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
ABF has been on a bender for 4 days non stop. Yesterday, I finally blew a gasket on him. I totally lost my sanity. I just had enough of the booze and him being drunk and I said some nasty things to him. Today, I am still mad and fed up. He is sleeping again, the usual, drink and sleep...that has become his life and its sad. I am trying really hard to keep the focus on myself and not let his insanity become mine. I see a sad pattern, drink and sleep, drink and sleep, talk to himself for days on end, drunk, and then crash for 2 days, as he is tired, but he has done nothing productive, and and then start all over again. He is falling and fast but that is not my problem. He has to decide for himself he wants recovery! I can not help him anymore! I am just trying to keep my sanity!
I am sorry you had a bad day yesterday. We all lose our serenity from time to time, it happens. The good news is you can always make amends for whatever you feel you need to and then let it go. I find it helpful to me to separate the person from the disease. The disease is what keeps them doing the same thing over and over again,, but the person, the spirit of them is still there underneath it all. They deserve compassion and empathy as do you. Perhaps falling hard and fast is in his best interests who knows when a change may occur. For my qualifier the event that propelled her into treatment seemed very miniscule in my mind but for whatever reason the last event was when she decided to seek help. I call it her hp at work. God knows I tried everything in my power to make it happen and it didn't. I had to surrender my control and focus on myself as incredibly difficult as that was. I hope that today was a better day for you. Take care.
