The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
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information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I'm still not smoking. I've had a headache all day - I'm blaming nicotine withdrawals - but I've gone 3 days without smoking. I'm not gonna throw that time away.
Bf still hasn't had a drink. We spent the evening together again. It's really nice and peaceful, but I hate him having to leave. I want him to come back home. I know he's only been sober for a week, but I want to go to sleep cuddled up to him. I want to wake up with him kissing my forehead. His drinking never made me miserable. It was only a problem when he made a really bad decision.
Boundaries are supposed to be about protecting your sanity, correct? Well, me making him move out didn't really have anything to do with protecting my sanity. It was more about me wanting to give him an extra incentive to stay sober. But, nothing I do is going to affect his sobriety. It's his decision. He decided to stop drinking and he's been sticking to it. He hasn't touched a drink since he decided to give it up. So now, it feels more like I was just being manipulative. I don't see any benefit to him not living here. I don't mean for this to sound like I'm desperate for him to come back and I'm miserable without him and I can't function without him here. It's not like that at all. I'm functioning just fine. I'm doing everything I need to do; I'm keeping up with my life just like before. But I miss him. I'm just plain happier when he's around. I'm gonna take some more time to think about it, but I want to ask him to come home. I don't know if he will, though. When he lost his job, he told me that he wouldn't come back until he had another one because he wasn't going to live here if he couldn't contribute financially.
I'm just going to think about this carefully and make sure it's what I really want, then I'll talk to him about it. I'll just have to see what happens. He has his own boundaries and I need to respect those, but maybe we can come up with something that will make us both happy.
Congrats on the No Smoke ;) I Will Say that when I Quit Many Many Moons ago, I too took to Headaches, and Even had a Round with Bronchitis for a Month :/ However... Once that Past, WOW did I Start Feeling better... and I have Now (Knock on Wood) Not had Bronchitis in 16yrs :) But My Smokes Addictions has Now Moved too a Coffee Addiction :/ lol
As for Me & Boundary's... They are For Me to "take care of me" and Sometimes I have to Change them Up a Bit because my Life Changes sometimes Daily and Old Boundaries sometimes don't Fit in the New Me World... I Do My Best to Return the Favor of others and Respect their boundaries as Well... If it Came from their Lips that they had a "Plan" Or Boundary, I do my Best to Respect it... but that's just me ;)
HP will Give ya What your Looking for... Even if It Doesn't Fit your Time Clock... I Do Truly Believe that... Sometimes we have to Struggle a bit before we Realize it was the Best Thing we did for Ourselves and Sometimes for them too :) That's what I Love about Al-Anon, Each day is a New Day to Make Better Choices, and the Love & Encouragement we get is Out of this World...
Keep Coming Back ;)
Friends in Recovery Please take what you like and Leave the Rest :)
Congrats on not smoking! I don't recall having head-aches but it did take a while for my lungs to feel better. I had smoked a long while and healing or managing that damage took time.
Working the program, meetings, sponsorship and literature all helped me set up boundaries that were protective and not punitive. It was and still is a trial/error thing for me at times, and that's OK - I'm about progress and not perfection. I too respect others' boundaries - and work hard to actively listen more than before the program.
Prayers and positive thoughts sent your way!
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Congrats on remaining smoke free! I'm in the medical field and know that headaches are common when one first quits smoking ; headache is caused by your brain receiving more oxygen--- a good sign but one you're not used to yet. With time your brain will adapt to the increase in oxygen and headaches will leave.
Good job on quitting. It gets so much easier.. I quit because my lungs hurt so bad. And it smells. You can't smell it, but people who don't smoke around you can smell it on you like an old ashtray. lol.. So you'll be happy to start smelling that because it'll repulse you. Haha!
Please take what you like and Leave the Rest :) 