The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
So I have been Working On "Why" I think/do the things I Do.. and Trying to be aware of my "Now" Thoughts.. And what maybe some of My "Triggers" are... WOW I think I Hit them ALL just Today...
So I am Slow in my Office, and had some things to Stain in our Shop, so thought Why Not... Its Chilly out but I Can Bundle up and Still Open the Doors to Kill some Stain Odor.. So I Get about 1/2 thru the 1st Coat of the boards I have Out, Go to Walk around the other Side, Bump the Can I'm Holding in my hand and it SPILLS.. After a Brief "F$()#)_@ ", My Thoughts Take Over... 1st Well There Went $7.77... 2nd How am I Going to Get THAT off the Shop Floor...3rd Shoes are Good ;) 4th D(&$% He is Going to FLIP.. 5th Is what it is.. 6th Might as well see if He Has a Thought about Clean up...(He being AH, who ALWAYS Has a Thought)
I Pop around the Corner, say.. "Hey I Just Spilled this Gloss, How do you think would be the Best Way to Handle Clean up for the Floor" to which I get the Usual (You are So Blonde Sometimes) look.. He says "I guess just take Newspapers and Absorb what ya Can, and Go from there" While Rolling Eyes, and Using Solely Facial Expressions to Remind me How Dumb I can Be at times...
Then Al-Anon Pops in: Why on Earth do I Even Ask him, when I Know I Can Figure this out on my Own without the Looks Of Ignorance & Self Doubt & Disappointment...
So I Go Back & Finish Salvaging the Gloss still Floating on the Boards it Hit, (He leaves for a Service Call) I turn the Music Up... Find a Nice Upbeat Happy Station... Finish the Row of Boards I was On, Go Get the News Paper, and Realize the Floor is Rather Clean, the Gloss is Still Floating So I Grab a Metal Dust pan and some Gloves and Precede to "Salvage" the Gloss I Can, and it was Rather Clean.. :D Laid the Newspaper down to Soak up the Rest... As it Soaks, Go to start Again Staining Boards, and Guess what?!?! YEP... Knocked the Dang Can Over AGAIN...
Al-Anon Still Fresh... Less F)*$)@ and I LAUGH... Literally OUT LOUD (After Of Course I Set the Can Back up) "Still Smiling say" High 5 Jozie... Your Awesome :) Again I Proceed with Above Actions... Only Now With a "Ok HP... I Get It "I'm HUMAN"...So I Ended up having Just Enough to Add the 2nd Coat to Boards, Finish Up and allow to Dry...
Thru away Newspaper Mess & While Tending to Cleaning out my Brush, ... Said AH Returns with his Sarcasm (Which of Course he sees as "Cute & Funny" and Not Insulting Ever "I" Just Take it Wrong :/ ) Walks in & I'm Still Smiling... Says "Did You SPILL MORE!" :O I Said "Yep!" Still Smiling... He Grumbles his "Only You!, How Much More is that Gonna Cost Us!" I'm Still Smiling... and Say "Well it will Cost Me $7.77+ tax, and ya know.. You Really Should Thank ME!?" His Face is Pretty Curious at this Point... "Why's That?" He Smirks... And With Out Even Thinking I Say "Welp, This Floor always was Drab & Boring, However... When you Walk Over These Two Spots they Will Shine Little Burst's of Light & Brighten your Day..." "So Your Welcome!" and Walked Away...
I know there was a WEE Bit of Self Satisfaction there at the End but I have to Say... The Look on his Face When I Walked Away Was One that Made My "Boneheaded Clumsiness" Pretty Funny & Seemed to Be Just what I needed to Brighten my Day... And I Feel More then Ever it is because I have Practiced "Don't Take it Personal, & What Others Think of Me is None of My Business"... That Helped Pull That one Off... Normally I would be So Ticked at myself for the Mistake, and Wear All his ICK He Spewed at me... BUT NOT TODAY.... :D
I Adore My Husband, but he too is an ISM Child that feels he has No Problem nor Issues... He in the Beginning was Threatened by my Al-Anon Meetings he would "Guilt beat" me about going to them, Then They Became My "Husband Basher Meetings", Then they became "Oh that's Right.. YOU HAVE A MEETING" Smirk Meetings... and Here we Are 7+ yrs later and They are Now "Oh its Tues. that's Right you have Meeting, we will do it another Night!" Meetings.. So Even tho he still isn't in Recovery, My Recovery is Helping us Both... At Least From my View Point...I Can Be Happy & Accept that he will Never Approve of Everything I Do, and That's OK... I Don't need his Permission nor Approval... and Slowly he too is Learning this ;)
In Jan. I Got invited to a Trip Out of Country and I SAID YES... It was the Best think I have EVER Done... Before Al-Anon I wouldn't go to the Market without Clearing it With my Husband.. (I thought Out of Respect? Found out It was Out of Approval & I Desired HIS Acceptance) I Still Remember My 1st Over Night Convention... I Felt Like "Ironwoman" Because I Didn't Ask him, I Said.. "There is a Convention on this weekend & I am Going!" thought his Eyes would Pop out his Head... Because it was So Very Unlike me to Take Charge on Anything without Approval.... I'm Not Disrespectful, I Just Realized that we are Married, & I Hope to Spend the Rest of Our Lived together, but "Married" Does not Mean I'm Property... And Al-Anon Taught me that...
Sorry So Long, But It was Quite a Lighthearted Moment And I Got Quite the Chuckle :) SMILE On Family... It is What We Make it :) Even in the Sketchy Spots We Can SMILE :)
"""Welp" Jozie Not only was your posting extremely entertaining and well written, it made me smile and provided great program tools to boot. :)
Thanks for returning and please do stay awhile .
I chuckled through out the share - as I can totally relate to the spills and then the @#$@# #$#@#.......your post reminded me that before program, I would have allowed one spill to sour my mood and my day and perhaps maybe make me mad at the whole world as....of course - this 'stuff always happens to me, why me, omg!!!' I was so aggressive/passive in my attitude, thinking, actions, living - and am so grateful I am not any longer!
My AH does those looks too. He come home from working on the rental dog and told me that my dog was in time out. Apparently she some how, some way got into another neighbor's yard. That by itself wasn't a big deal, but when he tried to call her to get her back to our yard, she ran to the home owner (female) and would not come. He went to get the leash, which helped as she thought he was taking her for a walk. Needless to say, when they got close, she laid down and rolled over in complete submission.
He, with no program was mad at the dog, felt judged by the neighbor lady and most likely scared the bejesus out of the dog, who is a lovely rescue, gentle as can be, female dog - terrified of men. She does like him, but I suspect she was afraid because he was mad.
So, he proceeded to share photos of the dog in another neighbor's yard that bit him when he was 'just mowing' the other day and I just listened trying to not change my facial expressions - working on my poker face. My poor dog who got so excited for a car ride and road trip went straight to bed - she was tired and stressed.
So great to see your growth and your post. I agree with Betty - please stay around for a while - your sun shines brightly and makes my days better!!!
(((Hugs)))
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Thanks Ladies :D Work Being Slow Gives me More time here & I Love it ;) So I Hope to Indeed Be around a Bit ;)
(((Iamhere))) I Can So Very Much Relate to the Pup Story too... I have (3) Boston's... All Spoiled Rotten...I Can See your H Now... Mine would have Blown a Gasket as well... But when it Happens to Me its a Whole Different Ball Game, but when they do it too him, I Do very much have to Hold that Expression :D At Home Mine are Fenced in my Yard, to which I have Had to Barricade Many Spots, but at Camp they are Wild and Free No Fence, and at times they Tend to Visit Others and the Nearest Neighbor is 1/4 Mile away :D
Thanks Brother... I did Indeed Hit the "Easy" Button Yesterday :) Lets See what HP Has Planned for this Next Coat on the Boards... lol Time will Tell :D
After a Brief "F$()#)_@ 
", My Thoughts Take Over... 1st Well There Went $7.77... 2nd How am I Going to Get THAT off the Shop Floor...3rd Shoes are Good ;) 4th D(&$% He is Going to FLIP.. 5th Is what it is.. 6th Might as well see if He Has a Thought about Clean up...(He being AH, who ALWAYS Has a Thought) 
"So Your Welcome!" and Walked Away... 
but I have to Say... The Look on his Face When I Walked Away Was One that Made My "Boneheaded Clumsiness" Pretty Funny & Seemed to Be Just what I needed to Brighten my Day... And I Feel More then Ever it is because I have Practiced "Don't Take it Personal, & What Others Think of Me is None of My Business"... That Helped Pull That one Off... Normally I would be So Ticked at myself for the Mistake, and Wear All his ICK He Spewed at me... BUT NOT TODAY.... :D
