The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
My daughter moved out and its been a relief. I had been so obsessed over her and her well being. She is doing fine in her own place now. I am now at home with the ABF and I am not worried. I see he is a full blown alcoholic and can not stay sober beyond 3 days. Not my issue, not my problem. I see the same merry go round with him, over and over again. Nothing is changing at all with him, just digging a bigger hole for himself and getting sicker and sicker with each hangover. Now that its just me and him at the home, I am setting stronger boundaries with him. Drink elsewhere. He is now drinking in the garage and I am in the house, and its sane here. Its the same thing...drinking day and night and talking to himself. I have become hardened to his behaviors now and see a sick falling apart man. I have no pity or feelings for him. I have lost that awhile ago. I am disgusted with him and see the same thing over and over with him...as the saying goes, round and round the bus goes. I know know what to expect with him and its not surprising what he will say or do. I guess I have come to acceptance at last. Wow, it took me 2 years to get it. He will not change but I am and that is all that matters-me, me..I feel I have grown a lot and hope that my feel sorry for him feelings do no return and that I continue to remain detached. I have a day planned for me, and I will do what I have to and make it positive. I do not need his approval or involvement. I find the more he is drunk and out of my sight, the better I feel, and I can do my own thing. I have given up all hope of him ever sobering up. I am excited, today, I am going to go look at a tent trailer to buy for me so I can go camping this summer. And no, he will not be allowed to come with me camping. He can stay home and feel sorry for himself and drink. Not my party! I have my own to deal with! I feel hopeful today!
Thanks for all the help you have all provided! I am getting there!
(((Joker))) - progress, not perfection is always our goal! Keep your focus on your recovery and it will keep getting better - that's my story and I'm sticking to it!!!
Prayers and Positive Thoughts your way from my small piece of the world!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Work the program Joker and enjoy the growth and recovery it has for us. I remember a time saying to myself "she will never get clean and sober" (my alcoholic/addict wife) and then my HP revealed just how powerful HP can be. Not only was I wrong and HP used my spouse as a living metaphor of humility for me. She got clean and sober and in the first two weeks of institutional recovery voluntarily wore a bag over her head. When as why she was doing that her reply to the other patients and staff was, "I have learned that if I do not allow myself to be blindly led in recovery, I will not make it". This is the humility and commitment I also needed to practice and while I didn't put a bag over my head to give me the blindness I went into practiced being teachable and my sponsor was surprised to see it work. We were not together during this time and are not now and I am not so proud or afraid to be led by others. I got to witness two miracles...mine and my ex-spouses. Mahalo HP. Keep coming back (((((hugs)))))
