The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Is it normal at some point in your own recovery for it to be a struggle? Every day in and out having to be focusing on getting rid of the crazies? Is this is how the alcoholic feels? Its like a perpetual diet. No wonder there are relapses. Some days you want the hot fudge sundae I am hoping that someone responds that sooner or later it just becomes second nature. As some days I feel like I am in the movie Groundhog Day. (I hope I am not showing my age with that) Am I depressed?
Suzann One day these positive constructive tools become second nature and although the old, negative, destructive tools still float over head , we choose not to pull them in.
Steps 4 through 10 helps in this process. We reach a point where our serenity and life is more important than acting in a destructive manner .
It is a process and takes time Keep coming back
I Can Relate... I am a Double Winner, I'm a Recovering Alcoholic, (5yrs sober) and I Got that way thru Working the Steps of "Al-Anon" :D
And Yes, there are Days for me that Seem Like I'm Working Harder then I Should, but I have Learned Over the 7+ years that I have been here, that for me its about Habit... Once I Get Use to Treating myself with Kindness, and Giving things to HP It becomes a "Habit" Just like the Habit of Addiction... Early on in my Sobriety I would Wake in the Middle of Night with the Taste of My Favorite Alcoholic Beverage... And Feel like I Just Cheated Myself... I Would Feel Like I Broke Again & Alcohol Won... Tho it was Just a Dream, That is how Sick My Mind was it Believed it controlled Me.. and at times... I Agreed...
Everyone's program Grows Differently but I know I had Spots where I Just Felt Worn Out Mentally, Spiritually and What worked for Me was Treating Myself to Some Fun.. When I'm Laughing Life Just Moves Forward.. I'd Hit a Movie I Wanted to See (sometimes by myself other times with friends), or Treat Myself to that Hot Fudge, Or Find an Old Friend I Could Laugh With, and Make Light of Life... All these things Helped me Get over the "Blah"
My Best Non Advise :D KEEP COMING BACK... It will Lift if we Stay Stead Fast... If You Need Help, Ask for It... Need a Break, Take One... Need a Mini Vaca at the Spa, Go For it... Then Hit a Meeting, and Rise Even Higher ;)
You Got this... Sooner or later the Groundhog Must Sleep
I too can relate and with practice, practice, and then more practice, it does become more natural and automatic. Love all the input above me so will leave it at that!
I do remember reminding myself often/always - it's progress not perfection I am after!!
(((Hugs)))
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
I have felt the same way and used the exact same analogy for my recovery. And that is kind of the moral of the story (of the movie) isn't it? He starts out with some huge character flaws and resenting the fact that he has to go through the ordeal he is in ( the same day over and over again). He tries desperately to force things to change to stop the time loop even going so far as committing suicide and yet nothing changes. It's not until he accepts that it is going to repeat over and over again that he figures out how to make the most of it. He appreciates the things he does have in this strange situation, he becomes a better person and yes....wins the love of the woman he desires. I think the struggles we go through now that we are in program build us into better people with stronger coping skills and kinder hearts. Sometimes I feel like the exact same events are happening to me over and over and over again. But I felt like that before Al anon too. The difference for me is that I can see how I respond differently to the situation, learn something from it and often create a slightly different outcome. I believe that life provides us opportunities to learn things (sometimes these learning opportunities are pleasant sometimes they are unpleasant) and if I don't learn from it I believe I will get that opportunity to learn again until hopefully I get the lesson. It can take me a really long time to learn my lessons but I am getting better at it lol.
I have been in the program for almost a year and I think that many of the skills are becoming second nature and I am coping better and living a much happier life overall than I was a year ago. I find the longer I am in the program the deeper my understanding grows. I gain more insight and understanding into my own situation.
I can't really answer your question about it becoming second nature, but if you think you might be depressed, talk to your doctor. They have a questionnaire to help evaluate you for depression - I scored really low - or high - depending on your point of view - and I'm not on meds. It took a while and experimentation, but I'm on 2 different medications and they work. I'm able to feel normal again.
