The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
The C2C reading for April 3 Speaks about the fact that at the beginning of this alanon journey, the fear of attending Al-Anon meetings was huge and at times overwhelming . Our biggest fear was that someone we knew would be there and know our secrets.
It points out that the principles embodied in Al-Anon meetings and at the member to member level, stresses the importance of anonymity. In fact, the Al-Anon declaration, which is usually right on the meeting room desk states "who you see here, what you hear here, when you leave here, let' it stay here." The traditions also reinforces the importance of anonymity.
The quote is from Al-Anon Spoken Here" "The Free expression, so important to our recovery, rests on a sense of security, knowing that what we shared our meetings will be held in strict confidence"
I understand the importance of this tradition and principle of anonymity Growing up in a home where there were no boundaries where every confidence was broken and all the "shared secrets" used as weapons in an argument, I learned early to "Keep my own council" never reveal anything to anyone and solve my own problems That did not work in the real world.
I am so pleased that I had the courage to enter alanon and trust the principles . They work!! I found that listening with an open mind, sharing from the heart without anyone interrupting and giving advice was, for me the only way to heal the pain of living with this disease.
I am glad I found these meetings and MIP most importantly and learned how to trust.
Thank you Betty for the daily and also your ESH & service. Having been around recovery for a long while, I have had my anonymity broken a time or two. It never put me in jeopardy for a job/career, but it's uncomfortable. I am grateful it's never happened on the Al-Anon side! I am fortunate to have found a group of folks who do trust the process, traditions and principles. We have not had to have discussions about anonymity, and I am grateful for that.
My family was similar to yours - there were no boundaries, and often things you felt were stored and projected back at you as a weapon. Based on this, I had trust issues. I am grateful that recovery has taught me to not judge, not gossip, not cross-talk and not give advice. I love that we keep the focus on us and not on the qualifiers who brought us. It makes me very uncomfortable when members always focus on the alcoholic and their behavior - I pray that they get unstuck soon!!
I reserve the right to discuss my qualifier with my sponsor and a trusted friend/two. I am respectful of their right to privacy so rarely if ever discuss them in any meeting. It's not my role to tell any part of their story - it's my role to share my story and my feelings, from the heart, with an open mind. I do feel trustful enough today to share without judgment and to know my share will not leave the rooms.
Make it a great day - it's Sunny & 52 degrees and.....SEASON OPENER FOR MY ROYALS against the NY METS!!! I know where I will be this evening!!!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
AMEN Betty! I, too, appreciated the rooms of Al Anon: not only being given the chance to release my fears, iniquities, character defects, and character assets, but also a chance to allow others to do the same. I believe I've become a better listener and more compassionate since I have come into program. I truly appreciate the fact that everyone is on their own journey and that we are all only responsible for ourselves! HUGS!
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Never grow a wishbone where your backbone ought to be!
Betty - my sister & friend - yes....I know we will be on opposite sides for the games, but that will never affect my love for ya!!! May the best team win - seriously - win/lose - I am just glad baseball season is here!!! (((Hugs)))
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
