The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Thank you for the many gifts I have in my life today. I most likely always had gifts but was too sick to see them. Not physically sick but spiritually and mentally sick. My distrubed and distorted thinking caused by the disease of alcoholism filtering through the generations of my own family acted like a wall keeping me blind to lifes beauty and miracles. Like being in a dark tunnel and refusing to see the light. Staying in the dark with sheer determination. I was never an innocent victim. I always had choices.
Thank you for taking me to the point of surrender. It opened me up fully to discard the old negative ideas and thinking and accept new ideas and a new way of thinking. Surrendering my whole self allowed you in.
Now Ive got a sense of everything is just as it should be. I might not like it but I trust people are right where they need to be for their journey and their own life lessons. The fear and panic that gripped me and made me a top class enabler has mostly gone. I can now see that I am worthy and entitled to a good life and I have the right to seek that and make that happen for myself. I never have to sacrifice myself and my own happiness for anyone, including my adult children. In fact its wrong to do this and will hurt them. So, Im free of the warped conditioning of my past.
I feel your presence almost every day even without consciously seeking you out. At some point each day I feel an opportunity arise to help someone in some way and I almost automatically think 'your will.' This doesn't completely remove my ego of course but I become willing to become an instrument of your will. I think about other people as your children and I try to treat them as I would want the world to treat mine. The idea of 'good' and 'bad' has kind of gone from my mind now and this allows me to treat people with as much respect and kindness as I can. Im not perfect at this and I build resentments from time to time but its caused by my own perception of an event or how I have dealt with it rather than the person I am resenting.
I am and always will be a work in progress and I am accepting that with every day in Alanon. Thank you for pushing me and not giving up on the lessons until I finally surrendered. It took a long time but I have become someone I like now. I have trust in myself and when I dont I have trust in you. Now when things are tough I know that it will be for my own good and I have help now. Im not alone. I have so much hope now. Thank you.
Thanks LC This is a beautfiul expression of gratitude and a fantastic example of how program works .
I can so identify!!! I can now walk down the street see the trees, birds, squirrels and people and feel their beauty deep within and thank HP for the gift each day Before program I was blind. As is stated in many songs and the the "I was blind and now I see". So grateful that I found this program and my HP.
Great letter and so spot on! Love it - thanks for sharing with us!!
(((Hugs)))
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
OH MY...I read your prayer out loud so that even my own wife could hear it and it seemed to come from within my spirit as it often does with program prayer. I know that HP wants my soul to remember it intimately because it contains my own spiritual and mental and physical thoughts also and I remember now that we are ONE FAMILY AND ARE GUIDED BY A POWER MUCH MUCH MORE POWERFUL THAN OURSELVES. Mahalo Sister...soooo much. (((((hugs)))))
