The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I did all this and was driven by fear and also an over inflated ego. I was terrified that things would get worse if I didnt clean it up or tidy it up. Fixing and controlling from my own fears and also truly believing that I had the power to control it all!!! Especially when it came to my sons drinking. I believed a 'good' mother should know how to control the life of her children and if it was all going wrong well this was evidence of my failings as a Mother.
I learned that enabling is wrong, plain and simple. Once I knew what it was and the damage it causes then I had to stop. Thanks Linsc.x
Ditto....I did all of this and much more before I knew better. I too had a huge ego and was driven by incredible amounts of fear. I was afraid of failure and thought if I could get everything 'perfect', it would be OK.....boy or boy - that backfired!! I can also relate el-cee to the 'good mother' part - it is so hard to work this program when it's your child, but the growth and peace I have gained are irreplaceable and beyond inspiring!!
Great thread and great share!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
I clearly hear all you mothers out there! I find this so hard because it's my teenage son. I really struggle with the can't control it , can't cure it part with him because as his mother I've always fixed anything bad in his life and now I have to let go, accept he is nearly an adult making choices that are not in his best interest. I'm home from work for lunch at the moment and struggling with stopping myself from going through his room to snoop to see if he has anything in there that indicates that he's been drinking or smoking weed in my house! So I came on here instead to read posts before I go back to work.