The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Yesterday, it was another nightmare. We went to church and my sister called me and asked me to drive her truck after church. The abf got mad, as I was going to my sisters. I see he is trying to isolate me and not let me have any outside contacts. He got mad and left. He lost his drivers license so I have to drive to church. He got really mad and left, just before dinner was served at the church. I just let him go. What ever is my thought and I ate a nice dinner and then came home. My ABF had drinks and was drinking beer when I got home. I knew he was having a pity party so I went to the basement. All night I heard him walking around upstairs raging, and I do mean raging. I took a sleeping pill and had a good sleep. I just heard glass breaking upstairs, so I assume he broke the glass door. He continues to rage upstairs alone. I am in the basement, safe. He is going nuts but its not my problem, not my issue. I am grateful, I can detach and laugh at it. I am determined to move out now. I see that he is not going to change anytime soon. I can not live in this insanity of him anymore. I am going to give myself one month to find a place as I have already paid the mortgage for the month here. I will not say anything to him and plan my move. I have to. He is not going to change. He is very, very sick and I deserve better! I will call the police if he tries to attack me! I am not afraid of him. Those days are done! I am so emotionally disgusted with him, I have no feelings of love toward him anymore! I am getting stronger thanks to this board and the support I have received! I am glad my daughter has moved out, it is easier now to focus on me and what I must do! Will see what he smashed upstairs later when he passes out, if he does. I am safe in the meantime! I see how sick he really is...he is off the wall insane! I find it funny as he is out of his mind!
(((Joker))) - take care of yourself. Prayers and positive thoughts your way from my world.
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Safety first is A good plan right now. It sounds
Very dangerous to me even locked away in a cellar.
I hope there is a a way out besides the house.
People talk about safe rooms you still need to get
Out somehow if needed, Fire and/or blocked doors.
Use your DV training in your situation. Alanon talks
About That, you need to be safe from abuse. We are
not therapists,counselors or mental health workers.
Just lay people trying to help each other.
Hi joker
I am glad you are detaching from the madness and putting first things first your safety. My love turned to anger and hate from the abuse. However now I am away from my ABF I can have compassion he is mentally ill. I pray for his recovery the difference today is it's not for my benefit my life is great. I am close to my hp my partners disease learnt me how to love and care for myself the hard way. I see today he was my teacher. I just hope he learns the same lesson. We are all responsible for ourselves. It's the disease I hate today I feel nothing but pity for active a's god love them all but for the grace of god.
I hope you find a lovely peaceful home
Hugs Tracy xxx
checked upstairs and he broke the bottom of the window to the basement. I am safe currently. I am not afraid and just listening to music now...I have a phone here if he gets bad. THe basement is safe and cozy. I am thankful for that!
Yikes, I hope he wasn't trying to get in at you. People have broken down doors and hurt people (or worse) before the police could arrive. Please don't take any chances. It sounds like having a plan to be safe is important. Maybe keep a key hidden in your car so you can get away at a moment's notice if you need to. This doesn't sound like a situation you want to endure any longer than you have to. Take care!
