Deveolping an ability to see things as they really are and to find healthier, more appropriate ways of dealing with people and circumstances we encounter is not always easy or comfortable. Most of us have had good reasons for hiding certain information from ourselves----it hurt!  It probably still does. It isnt easy to see the suffering of a loved one, to admit-----even to ourselves----that a close relative has sexually abused or physically abused us, or emotionally abused us, to come to grips with the fact that the people we have turned to for love and acknowledgement are incapable of giving it. Or to recognize that we ourselves have become narrow minded, vindictive, pessimistic,submissive, fearful, despondent, petty, shrewish, nagging, controlling, or overbearing.

We may be dismayed to find that the negative thinking and behaviour that we developed to protect us from the painful experiences in our lives have in fact seeped into every corner of our world. It's as if we've allowed our defense mechanisms to protect us from all of life rather than reisking adventuresome participation in it. And trying to avoid the upleasant aspects of our lives, we have also missed out on many of the joys!

It isnt easy to accept the ways in which we have been affected by anothers alcoholism. But in fact we have, Somewhere inside many of us know this instinctively.  Until we take the time to look at ourselves honestly, we may never be free from the bondage in which alcoholism helds us captive.

We have the  right to expect more from life than mere survival. We come to alanon because we are ready to heal. We are ready to look at ourselves and our lives with new eyes. We are ready to become aware. We are ready to "live again"