I was reading Al-Anon literature this morning and the word Choices came to me. What are my choices? I thought hard about it and came up with a list:

1. Ask for help (call police, domestic violence help line, woman shelter, AA, Al-Anon, sponsor, friend, post on board here, let someone know what is happening behind closed doors) 

2. Go to a safe place when the alcoholic is drinking (For me its go to the basement and lock him out and let him drink himself to sleep)  

3. Call the police, go to a woman's shelter, get a restraining order or emergency protection order if there is violence

4. Get out of house as much as possible. Do not isolate and be miserable

5. Do not react to his BS, lies, drunkenness. Just walk away for the moment and let him be 

6. Have a safety plan (change of clothes, ID, personal stuff in my vehicle and make sure vehicle is parked on street so I can leave and not be blocked in the driveway and I have emergency funds for a hotel room if I need it) 

7. Set clear boundaries with alcoholic when sober. (I let him know in a text message what I will not accept. He needs to drink elsewhere and not in house or around me)  

8. Do not drink with alcoholic or put up with his insanity-walk away and go to safe place

9. Do not argue with alcoholic when he is using or talk any normal sense to him. He will not understand or remember.

10. Do not be around alcoholic when he is using. Let him fall apart on his own. He does not need help, he can do it all himself and suffer consequences

11. Do not be his sounding board (sitting and listening to his drunk ramble) 

12. Do not give him the attention he is seeking and thinking he is brilliant with all his ideas. He is not as brilliant as he makes himself out to be. He is in fact a complete loser, (work and drunkenness), unreliable      

13. Do not believe his words. Focus on his actions 

14. Take a vacation-Get away for awhile 

15. Live life like your single and happy. Do not give him the time of day or thought!

16. Get help for yourself (get counselling,  12 step meetings and sponsorship, what ever it takes to get emotionally strong)

17. If all fails, move out and get your own place! Move out of the area completely away from him and start new. Move to another state, province, city!     

This is just some thoughts that came to me. If others would like to add please do so. I need to know what all my choices are and I need to see it written down