The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
In October of 2007 I had a football size mass removed with my right ovary, it was hell and of course my AH at the time was none supportive. I went to all my appointments before and after alone and since my Mom had stage 4 ovarian cancer I was a wreck. Now obviously healed and been healthy and fine since then. Now yesterday I went to the emergency room and was having pain in my left lower abdominal quadrant and the ultrasound showed a mass on my left ovary. I am scared and have to wait and contact my gynecologist this coming week. My boyfriend was at my place this weekend and didn't really want to go with me to the ER so I went alone and when I got back and told him I was afraid of the surgery that might be upcoming he downplayed it and said his ex wife had a total hysterectomy before. I am feeling a bit peeved with him to say the least. I am having a rough beginning to this year with having a bone spur in my left heel that has had me having to baby my foot and lighten up on my workouts. So I am left feeling stressed and feeling like the stress of my past and my ex's past is effecting our right now. I need some ESH on how to proceed. Sending you all love and support!
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Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."
"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
wow. I'm reading this and question that comes is - what response do you want from your current bf? I'm put off by the thought of a BF not wanting to go to ER with you..... or me. on the other hand, men don't seem to understand or think anything of a woman having a total hysterectomy; bad them!
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I am strong in the broken places. ~ Unknown
All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another! ~ Anatole France
After talking with my boyfriend and being mad at him, he told me I have to tell him that it is important to me and he would have been there. Lesson~ Say what I mean, mean what I say without saying it mean!
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Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."
"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
I really am trying to be a better communicator and in times of stress I digress in a hurry. I am trying to get a hold of myself and just take things one step at a time as they come and not stress or worry ahead of time.
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Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."
"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
(((Breakingfree))) - first and foremost, hugs, prayers and positive thoughts you way.....so very sorry for the ER trip, the read from the visit as well as the experience in total. I was super happy to see your follow up posts about discussing with your current BF - I know that mine often appears insensitive and just as often, I am not good at sharing my needs - especially if I am stressed, hungry, tired, etc. Kudos to you for loving yourself enough to have that discussion with him - that's super cool that he owned his part and you spoke your truth.
I have not been through what you have going on, but on a mammo. about 5 years ago, they detected 'something'. Needless to say, after 4 mammograms, they still could not determine what they were detecting. So - biopsy time. It was my first and I went to all the mammo appointments alone and drove also to the biopsy alone. I believe this spanned about 5-7 weeks. I am reasonably healthy so this was my first 'wait and see' with medical issues/testings that could be serious.
Needless to say, the day I got to the biopsy, I was just ready to know and move forward. In the building I go, and up to the floor and when the elevators opened, I was in a Breast Cancer Center. I consider myself reasonably intelligent and in no way did I realize, think or even consider this....sure - I thought it might be serious, but nobody knew yet what was in my breast so it was jaw-dropping, heart-stopping 'oh hell' moment for me.
I felt foolish as I was the only person there alone. I had several gal pals who had offered to go and I didn't think I would need anyone - based on how they described it, easy peasy and no results immediately. Needless to say, I did learn my lesson and I won't be going to any appointments off the beaten path alone ever again. If for no other reason than to have another person to listen and talk with.
Back to your situation - for me, the waiting was the hardest part. No matter how much recovery I work to absorb, my mind still often projects the bad/worse case scenario. I had to continuously remind myself to stay in the present and trust God. Over and over and over again.....I am not good with patience so this was a great test for me. My situation did turn out fine. It seemed to be very concerning to every mammo tech, but the biopsy doc. was OK with what she saw/found.
If possible, just try to stay in the present. I doubled up my meetings during my waiting just to remind myself to stay here/now. I also talked often with my sponsor not necessarily about this situation, but to just be mindful of the promises of our recovery. Lastly, I spent a ton of time talking with God. Not asking for my will or a good outcome, just for peace of mind and his will to lead me.
Know that we are here for you in any way we can help.....(((Hugs))) to you and an attaboy for your BF! I love a man who is willing to admit he is human - I don't have a lot of that in my home/family!!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Hugs to you. Believe it will turn out okay. You have good docs and you have to believe that what they did the last time will be repeated this time. And I am glad they found it and can treat it. I don't tell my hubby anything about my medical care. He is very drama oriented and I just don't need that when I am sick. He also wants to be in control and tell me what to do--- which just triggers the oppositional personality in me.
Communication is great, but he also has to realize that you are in a bad place and stressed.... he needs to step up and act like a partner. You can't take all that responsibility on you. You already have enough to think about. Be sure you have a plan B.
Thank you MJ! I really downplayed it and went to the ER and told him I didn't mind. He stayed home and made my daughters dinner and I was back by the time he was coming back with them getting dessert at dairy queen. After a day of realizing I was repeating my past by trying to please others before myself and getting stressed about having something going on again with my reproductive tract I finally was able to communicate. When I called my boyfriend today after he left my place and he was headed home I told him I wanted him to want to go, he explained he hates going to the hospital, but would go for me if he had any idea I really had wanted him to go. He told me to stop letting him off the hook and give him a chance to be supportive and that he is here for the long haul. He is truly a great man and I am lucky to have him. This was a good reminder of how far I have come and to remember to use my words. Thanks for all the love and support!
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Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."
"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
