The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
My wife and I both are in a pretty desperate situation with her son (my stepson) and our marriage. Our son's father whom he sees every other week is a former drug addict. My wife's parents were not alcoholic growing up though they were very unhealthy and no doubt there was alcoholism somewhere. My parents are not alcoholic, though I have reason to believe that my mother is an untreated child of an alcoholic whom I have been tremedously afftected by (including my own drinking and recovery in AA). We think our son has Oppositional Defiance Disorder (his Dad is unwilling to get him a diagnosis) and if anything, he is our qualifer at the present time (though my mother could also be my qualifier)...We've benefitted tremedously so far from our 2 weeks in alanon. I personally can't wait to get to meetings and begin to be heard and understood. I think my wife feels similarly. I've worried about other people's opinions and tried to control other's opinions and reactions my whole life, and I've literraly made myself sick over the years. Words don't do it justice. I would do just about anything at this point in time for serenity and peace. Are we in the right place?
-- Edited by LetGoLetGod on Thursday 11th of February 2016 11:19:05 AM
Welcome Let Go and Let God You certainly are in the right place and I am pleased that you found us and reached out. Face to face Meetings are extremely beneficial and i am so happy that you and your wife are attending. When a meeting is unavailable please note that we have on line meetings here 2xs a day and of coarse the Message Board is always available. We also work the Steps on a different Board and here is the link:
Aloha Let Go and Let God and welcome to the board and yes you are in the right place. Even by the sign-in name you have got a handle on the solution. You have a lot of directions to point in to try to understand the problem and our program encourages us to look inward. Your sign in share is much like my own and I am no longer surprised when anyone does that anymore I am not unique having been born and raised in the disease myself. Additionally I am ODD Oppositional Defiant Disordered by nature that has been greatly reduced with the steps and traditions, slogan suggestions sponsorship and all other program tools. In order to find out if we can be of help to you and your wife and family keep coming back, listen and learn and then practice, practice, practice the suggestions.
LetGoLetGod - I too welcome you to MIP - glad you are here (and your spouse)! Also so glad you jumped in and asked.
Al-Anon is for family and friends affected by Alcoholism. That makes it quite simple to assist in deciding if one is 'qualified'...
Face to Face (F2F) meetings have been a blessing for my recovery. I met and married my spouse in AA - I stayed sober ... he did not. We have 2 boys who are also qualifiers for me. They are now 23 and 21, but gave us a good run during their teen years. We have struggled to determine what mental health issues may be present and it's a challenge, esp. if they are experimenting/self medicating.
So glad you are here - know that you aren't alone and we hope you keep coming back.
(((Hugs)))
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Yes, you are. I know a couple of couples in my home group who started at the exact same spot you are in, and now have achieved serenity and are great witnesses for the effectiveness of Al Anon.
You are so right, words don't do it justice, which is why the people of Alanon have helped me so much, no need to explain, they've been there! It is such a liberating feeling when, bit by bit, we learn to let go isn't it? So pleased to have you and your wife on board. Sending ((((hugs)))) to you both.
Thanks for the encouragement everyone. I can't tell you how much stress we have had in our 3.5 year marriage. Please pray that I can be a better husband to my wife, let go and let God take care of our situation etc. I can't wait to get to my alanon meeting tonight.
Keep working on trust in your HP. That makes LEGO- Let Go and Let God -so much easier. Your HP has led you to AlAnon.
I'm glad, too, that you both are eager to get to your meetings. You are definitely in the right place.
LetGoLetGod - my hope is that you and your wife had a great experience at your first meeting. If time allows, let us know how it went!
I agree with maryjane - trust HP and focus on one day at a time...
Keep coming back!
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
