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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> I am devastated!!!
Post Info TOPIC: I am devastated!!!
mjferg


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I am devastated!!!
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Just when things seemed to be getting better I get the most shocking news.My granddaughter went to the police and told them her stepfather,my daughter's husband, has been molesting her since she was 10 years old!!!He has been arrested and his statement was released on the news,he said,"It may have happened,but he didn't mean to do it!",and the officer said he seemed remorseful,so that means something happened. I just feel sick over this,I was molested as a child by a neighbor and I know the damage it does. I never did care for him and we have always clashed,but I never suspected this. My granddaughter has been having some serious emotional problems in the last year,she has been cutting on herself and talking about suicide.My daughter was trying to get her into counseling but was having issues with insurance.My heart breaks for her,this was someone she was supposed to trust.I don't know what to feel,right now I feel kind of numb.My daughter will be devastated,she already has a serious illness that she is dealing with.I haven't talked to her yet,I really don't know what to say right now.I am wondering if cps will get involved as there are two other girls in the family.I won't be able to get involved in this ,not with my background,I don't think it would be healthy for anyone,but I still need to support my daughter.God help me once again I am down on my knees.



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Mary
mjferg


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I just got a text message from a family member and my daughter is saying she doesn't believe what my granddaughter is saying,she believes her husband.That upsets me.This is a 15 year old girl who went to the police,she has nothing to gain.I believe her.

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Mary
Iamhere


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Oh Mary - so very sorry for you and your family with this news. I truly have no direct experience with this, but am hopeful that with your program tools and background, you can find the strength to be supportive for your granddaughter and your daughter.

I am sending you prayers and positive thoughts. I applaud your granddaughter for speaking her truth and from what I've hard, her ability to share out loud to another is her first step towards healing and recovery from the abuse.

(((Hugs))) from my small part of the world!

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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging.  Pause before assuming.  Pause before accusing.  Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret.  ~~~~  Lori Deschene

 

 
hotrod


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(Mary))) I believe that your daughter's reaction is not so unusual in cases such as this . Glad that you are electing to believe your grand daughter.

Prayers and positive thoughts for all involved.


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Betty

THE HIGHEST FORM OF WISDOM IS KINDNESS

Talmud
mjferg


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This is breaking my heart for my daughter and my granddaughter,i always knew he was a stinker,but i didn't know it was this. My other daughter in law just sent me a text,My daughter is very upset and we are going to her house,i think she is coming out of denial.i know that feeling.

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Mary
mjferg


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Sometimes I wonder if my family will ever have any peace,I forgot to mention that his father was a raging alcoholic who used to hold a gun to his mother so he is all messed up.

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Mary
Iamhere


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Prayers for peace for all Mary. So sorry for the way your day has started...

Hang in there!

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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging.  Pause before assuming.  Pause before accusing.  Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret.  ~~~~  Lori Deschene

 

 
mjferg


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Well, the more I thought about it, I decided to stay home, I am at home with a bad head cold and I can hardly talk,I feel pretty strongly about the situation and I may say the wrong things,there is a lot going on in this family right now and I am going to let God handle this one,it is too big for me.I have already had one anxiety attack this morning and you know what, I am going to rest.My granddaughters real father is the one who took her to file the report,and he is not happy at all with a lot of things they have been doing ,it is a big mess and I don't want in it.The girls have been drinking and smoking weed and their real dad is trying to get custody of them so it could get ugly.

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Mary
Mirandac


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Sounds like a good plan Mary, sending
You loving hugs.

((((((( mary)))))

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KennyFenderjazz


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Mary, sounds like a pretty good application of "When in doubt, don't" to me. Hope your cold gets better, and hope this family drama turns out OK.

Kenny

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Iamhere


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(((Mary))) - I agree - sounds like a great plan. Feel better soon!!

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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging.  Pause before assuming.  Pause before accusing.  Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret.  ~~~~  Lori Deschene

 

 
YARNCRAZY


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let go and let god..u have no control over this wild situation maybe.. but what do i know[ crying into hanky today]

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ALYCE R KINIKIN
SerenityRUS


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Hugs Mary,

I know the damage that has never been repaired because of a conversation I had with my mom regarding my s/dad. I really do pray your daughter starts dealing with some realities of what is going on. Staying out of it is the best way to deal since this is not your monkey's not your circus kind of thing. Your granddaughter is going to need a whole lot of support and so will your daughter as she comes to deal with the reality of the situation.

Hugs S :(

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Faith minus vulnerability and mystery equals extremism.  If you've got all the answers, then don't call what you do "faith". - Brene Brown

"Whatever truth you own doesn't own you" - Gary John Bishop
andromeda


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Mary, I was molested when I was 7. I understand how it is to be a child and suffering through this. I can relate to your tears, friend. Sending you lots of hugs and support. This issue is too close to my own heart and I honestly won't have anything constructive to say so I will pray for peace for you and for your family!

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Never grow a wishbone where your backbone ought to be!
KT2015


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Mary- I am so sorry to hear about your grand daughter. I was also molested as a child. I also work in the mental health field where I meet many people who have be molested and abused. ANd I see many people turn out just fine despite some horrific beginnings they had in this world. Every day I see hope for people who have gone through this and the hope and the positive of their coping and thriving despite that is what I choose to focus on in my work. From my experience the people who are able to report it and speak about it fair so much better. I am glad to hear she reported it. That took a lot of courage and strength. I am also glad you choose to believe her. You and her are in my thoughts and prayers.

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