The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I bet you all were thinking "Now why don't she write"
I have been back from Indiana now for 2 weeks. It was the best decision I could have made for myself to go there as it was much needed. While I was there I would not answer the phone after 8pm when AH called because it was just complaints and whining and drunkenness talk. This made it very easy to enjoy my time away and in the mornings we talked. After a few days he stopped calling in the evening. ...I was actually ready when it was time to come home even though I wasn't quite sure what I would be coming home to. My DIL mother who I traveled with lives about an hour from where I live so I had AH pick me up at a drop off point so she wouldn't have to add an extra hour to the trip. He came and got me..he wasn't super drunk but I could tell he had been drinking...I asked if I should drive....he said no he had a nap and he was fine...but he drove like an idiot anyway because he knows I hate it...pushing the buttons again....then got mad when i told him to quit that or let me drive. Well we made it home safely....Thank you HP. The first few days home went well. AH asked me if I wanted to go to the gym, I said no not today..then he asked if I wanted to go to church with him on Sunday..again I said no...Then I realized why are you saying no..it would be nice to do things together again when he is sober...so I said OK ill go to the gym, and to church with you and I did...I know my reactions need to be a little more reasonable, after all I am trying to save my marriage as I love my husband very much. Then on Monday my MIL went into the hospital with renal failure. She was on a chemo pill that was killing her. So now her choice is take chemo pill die sooner or stop taking it and die later...she chose later..... I have spent every night and just about everyday at the hospital with her. It was not always quiet but mostly we had a few bad days/nights the first part of the week. But I had time to read my books...and make it to most meetings here. I told her I had things I needed to do on some of the days as the last time i did this i gave up everything and did nothing.... she was ok with that..I have to apply what I have learned here with her as well.. I have started taking dog grooming classes they are one on one and 2 days a week. I love it and had wanted to do this 25 yrs ago but couldn't..(different story) . So now I finally have the chance and again I took it. I went to my f2f on Sat. I was not going to miss that. I went to visit MY mother after the meeting, and before I left she said Deb...keep doing what you are doing...keep up with your medication, your meetings and you chiropractor..Ha... she said you are a new person...and seeing you like this makes me feel like a new person. So I am going to keep on doing..keep on working (as hard as it is) and hopefully no turning back..I know there could be slips...but I also know that HP and my family will help me get back to where I need to be.....Thank you all for just being here to let us vent and just say just about anything we need to say....I love my new lifeline here...and what you all have done to get me where I am today (((((((( MIP )))))))))
I was wondering about you, hoping all was
Well with you.
Your enthusiasm is contagious. It does My
heart Good to read it.
Sorry about your MIL that is tough for every
One involved.
You are showing and wearing your self love
And willingness to get better. God loves you
As you are.
We are all there for you. It is a journey no
Matter how it works out in the long run. You
Will be stronger the more program you have
In you. I still struggle, you know what thats
Okay. Its a one baby step to a time program.
So often we are pretty sure we are changing but get no real feedback from a world that has its own drama and doesn't care when we give up their drama. But sometimes, someone notices. I won't say that makes it all worth it, that comes from inside, but I will say it can help to make my day when it happens. I'm glad it happened to you!!
And, speaking as a Hoosier, I'm glad you had a good time in Indiana! My wife always says there isn't much to recommend Indiana, so we have to make up for it in friendliness, I hope that was your experience.
Glad to hear from you! Sounds like the respite was a good one and am happy for you. Keep on doing what you're doing and going to dog grooming school sounds promising!
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"Forgiveness doesn't excuse bad behavior, but it
does prevent bad behavior from destroying your heart". ~ unknown
What a lovely update on your growth! So very, very sorry about your MIL but how grand that you can be there for her and still work on you? It is often times of unexpected drama (illness, death, etc.) that I 'skip' steps that keep me sane. So, so glad to hear you're working it no matter who/what's around.
Sounds like your trip was great - so glad you got away and got some visiting in. I have to laugh at your description of riding with your AH. My AH is an awful driver even if/when he's not under the influence. He makes me a nervous wreck so I make sure I have a book with me so I am not watching the road.
So glad that you're working it and it's showing. So glad that you feel a renewal of your self-power and so glad that you posted! Keep coming back as time allows and know that we're here for ya!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
This warmed my heart friend and i am so happy and proud of you. You put hard work into the program and get awesome rewards. you are an inspiration! And how great that your mom noticed.
Hey, hey there The1975jen - welcome to the boards! Good to see you on 'this side'!!!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Debra - love your avatar photo - sorry if I am late to notice but a great picture!!! We feel blessed that you are here as well!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Sounds like you gave yourself a wonderful breather from everything and really let go and let god. Nice to hear the details of how you're practice self care and allowing joy to come into your life. Thanks for sharing about it here. (((hugs))) TT
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Surround yourself with people and elements that support your destiny, not just your history.
