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Ok so. . Its our 17the wedding anniv. .We had time together today. .Had early dinner . . Now. .Im home relaxin with my daughter and ummm hes at a bar watching a ball game. Im not angry. Most women andmy oarents would be but we have been fighting big all week and well. . Its quiet. But i feel a luttle guilty and what a weird message to.ourdaughter. .i willnever make sense of this marriage. .
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When all else fails...there is Faith, Hope and Prayer.
TOC There is no sense to be made out of living with the disease of alcoholism. Happy Anniversary my friend. When your daughter is old enough you can introduce her to alateen
Take care of yourself .
Take care. Birthdays, anniversaries, Christmas,children's birthdays fill me with anxiety. I always feel pressure for them to be a certain way, a way I feel I can't be for whatever reason. (!!!!) my mother recently shared with me her newfound mantra, just in conversation, she said, I don't focus on what I can't do, only what I can. I should add my 60 year old mum is a ball of energy again,after a year long depression (she would not at all mind me sharing that). I found that very helpful. 17 years is a long time. I have always bought my own flowers, because I love receiving them. I have also thrown massive tantrums and emotional guilt trips to obtain them, but can't say I enjoyed the flowers nearly as much. I hope I'm not off base, but I hope you find someway to celebrate you at this time. And actually at any time. Hugs to you, hang in there.
Thank you both. I guess i celebrated by being peaceful with my daughter. We painted at popcorn andhad a nice time. Its 7am now. . He just got home. . Meaning he slept off some of his drunk somewhere. . Maybe today i will buy those flowers. Cant think when the last time HE bought some. .
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When all else fails...there is Faith, Hope and Prayer.
Sounds like a nice self-care move to me TOC!! Happy Belated Anniversary to you. It sounds like you had a lovely time with your daughter. I had to give up the 'Hallmark mentality' a long while ago with regards to 'special days'....they never went as I thought they should before the program. With the program, I've learned that it is just another day, and like any other, I can decide what kind of day I will have and with whom I spend it.
I've spent my anniversary at softball games, baseball games, program conferences, concerts, etc. I no longer wait for another to suggest or plan for me. And when I took charge, my anxiety over these event type days lessoned!
Yet another gift from the program - priceless return for the effort of being willing to listen and change!!
Enjoy your day - it sounds as if your peace may continue if he's busy sleeping it off. (((Hugs))) to you and prayers for all!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
