I been away from my family for about 20 yrs I moved south I was married to and alcoholic at a young age divorced him  after 15 yrs  stayed single worked on self got married again 25 wonderful yrs happy healthy relationship lots of therapy and worked on passed issues loss dh   . I am now in another healthy relationship .I went back up north for a death .I wish I never went nothing but trouble since I went back.  Lots of things said about pass issues  .My mom didn't want to move with sister wanted to stay in her own home we tried to get her apt due to area and house she lives in She didn't want that ..Sis dh is alcoholic so not good for mom She was going to come with me but sis told things i said of the pass not good I then said things also really not good  .After all this my sis walked away been 8 weeks now . When I was up there me and my sis talked about the pass both of us lots of hurt feelings from both of us But what I DON'T UNDERSTAND  is i never curse but that night and that night only I could not stop cursing I was like a different person I was in my car talking and every word was a curse word and the really bad one  my mom was going to move with me but my sis told her i cursed and how could she live with that cursing all the time and bringing things up from the pass  which i would not have done .I have not before or after that night cursed again   i am so hurt and heart broken about all this mom is in her 80's i feel really bad about the cursing part upset with myself full of guilt up at nights about all this . I feel i caused all this with my mom and sis if i didnt go back it never would have happen . i dont know how to fix this i told my mom to call my sis i step away again i am ok with that i don't want my mom to be unhappy or my sister  they were close  .but there was some tension after my sis father died between my mom and sis Also my dd and i were on speaking terms my sis handed me her phone and my dd called me by my name i was so hurt i told her in a text in a nice way i was hurt by this  but now were not talking and her and my sis stick together also my dd husband drinks a lot every time i saw him .I cant say if he is alcoholic but he dad was I not that much in there life I just feel sick about all this.I did step away right after the fight and and thought my sis and mom would make up but i send my mom a card and that's how i found out my sis was not talking to my mom also my sis was handling my mom money and my mom went to the bank i told her not to with my cousin and took her off due to my sis saying she bring the checks back all the time when they have words .what is the right thing to do about all this i am heartsick i cant function right  when i go to the gym i cant pull everything into myself at the gym i done sleep right anymore this is not how i have lived my life after my first marriage i had a happy life no dysfunction in it i can[t be happy like this . I was looking for a new home when all this happy  i can't think right now i don't want to make a mistake in my life . I want to fix this how can i