The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Recently I have been having trouble trusting my HP. A series of events have taken place. At the beginning of the summer my sister became very ill and is now in hospice care. My car has experienced major problems. I have been having trouble in my friendships. And I feel like I don't fit in, in this new town I moved too. I've been homesick a lot lately. I miss my family and my true friends. Lately I do not go anywhere on the weekends I stay home and watch TV or read. I feel like I am depressed and isolating. I try to drive home every other week to visit my sister. I used to be able to talk to my HP and meditate now I feel like I can't sit still long enough to do that I get full of resentments from all the issues I'm having and I can not meditate. I find leaving the house such a struggle. I just go to work and come straight home again. I barely want to go to the grocery store and that is because it is right across the street. I feel like I'm slowly losing my joy. Thanks for letting me share.
I had the same issues when I left my AH and moved to a different city. One thing my therapist told me is that "you can't be depressed if you are having fun." So I pushed myself past my comfort zone. I joined a church in my neighborhood and started going to their adult community singles gatherings. Soon I was meeting people who lived nearby (both male and female) who wanted to hang out with other singles. I also joined a couple of "Meetup.com" free groups. My favorite one is a walking group for people in my age group. We walk once a week and there are different people coming into the group each week- mostly people who are new in the area and want to meet people. I also participated in a healing retreat for people who are separated, divorced or widowed. This was an amazing experience for me and I meet some great people who I get together with often. Oh, and Al-Anon meetings- great place to meet like minded people in your area. Sending you lots of ESH as one who has walked in your shoes.
((Texasgal))) I have been there and done that . When my son passed from this disease, I could not pray or meditate. I did tell my HP how I felt and prayed one prayer -you know what i need, you know I cannot connect right now so please continue to help me.
I just kept showing up doing the next right thing and attending many meetings. Some one reminded me that Mother Theresa had spoken often of her periods of Spiritual Dryness and she just kept on doing her work and they lifted That encouraged me .
Be gentle with yourself visit your sister as often as you need and know you are not alone This too will pass.
Texasgirl you sound like me depressed too many changes.
I do not blame God for anything. The devil maybe, he is my Personal Favorite villain.
I have not moved far myself 13 miles Away. Now i am Alone at 58 looking for new healthy pals to hang around with.
I am not A bundle of emotional joy either. I also work too many crazy hours to have a normal social life. I know i need more balance in my life to get back to normal. Balance has been Sadly lacking for awhile.
Great suggestions
(((((((( texasgal ))))
-- Edited by Mirandac on Wednesday 9th of September 2015 06:33:15 AM
So very sorry about your sister and your current issues. I see some great ideas above me and can't think of anything great to add but wanted you to know that we are all here for you and we do understand.
For me, when I feel the lowest is when I have to step up my meetings/program work. That's the only 'cure' that's ever worked for me. It helps me to understand that bad things happen to good people and if I do what I should, it will pass and I'll get to the other side.
Hang in there!
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
I used to feel so guilty if I was at a place where I couldn't pray, or talk to HP. Now I realize that like all relationships and life, there is an ebb and flow. Also my HP already knows my feelings and is ok with them... even if those feelings are anger, sadness, distrust etc. It's ok to not feel ok. The trick for me is to make sure I'm not crossing that line from sadness and anger into resentment, because that gets me into big time trouble.
I'm so sorry about your sister. It sounds like the move just hasn't felt right. I hope that continue to reach out ODAT until your peace and serenity feel restored.