The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Resentment is anger resent, it goes round and round resending the feelings. ~ Al-anon
Resentment is anger that seems to never end unless you want it to! Resentment stunts growth and eventually it can and will make us sick. It is said that, resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.
Any time Im resentful, I am not taking care of myself. I am blaming someone else for something I need to do. I need to not have false expectations.
Our expectations play a major role in the development of resentment. Having a standard of conduct for myself is important, but I do not have the right to ask anyone else to live up to my standards. If I expect others to live up to my personal standards then I am going to be disappointed and resentful.
The Al-anon steps help us to focus on only ourselves, not on others or the alcoholic. To focus on the alcoholic and others would be asking that they do as we want, which is possible but will only create resentment.
Happy Labor Day To All!
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"Forgiveness doesn't excuse bad behavior, but it
does prevent bad behavior from destroying your heart". ~ unknown
Thanks for the lovely share. I have a good program friend and we laugh now as we say....I'll show you - I'll hurt me! The meaning is exactly what you are referring to....
We expect others to be as we want.
They try and fail or don't try at all.
We get frustrated and continue to expect the unattainable.
We get resentful that they're not where WE want them to be.
We harbor anger, ill will, etc. and they don't spend a moment thinking about it.
We become obsessed with it and it dominates us and they are living life. How is that working? Not well!!!
So - for me, the best way to avoid resentments is to avoid expectations. The two do go hand in hand....
Hope your day was great!!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
