The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
On instruction from our marriage counsellor I've just done a list of things that I appreciate about my husband. I think that my expectation was that this was meant to make me feel better about him and I started the list thinking 'oh darn, why do I have to spend time rooting around for good stuff?'
By the end of the list it turns out that I feel so much better about - myself!! That was a surprise! It makes me realise how much damage negative thinking does to my self-esteem.
PS It was a nice list by the way. There is good in him!
This sounds like a great exercise to do! I especially like that you ended the activity feeling better about yourself.
__________________
Skorpi
If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present. - Lao Tzu
Great exercise Milkwood Sounds reasonable. I know using my old tools I would spend a great deal of time looking at and attempting to dig up the negative in others--that way I was justified in being angry with them or feel superior to them.
Making asset and gratitude lists of myself seemed to change all that. Love how you found that including your loved ones in that list.
worked for you. I know I must be extra aware as to not make myself invisible again and continue to include my assets first in this process.
Milkwood, so glad you found the exercise to be beneficial!! I find that, although there are
the daily Dr. Jekel/Mr. Hyde moments, that I always seem to keep in the fore front of my
mind all the good things that AH does. So I continue to detach with love and empathy
and take one day at a time. Work on my program/focus on me and let HP take care of
the rest. Congratulations to you!!
__________________
"Forgiveness doesn't excuse bad behavior, but it
does prevent bad behavior from destroying your heart". ~ unknown
That sounds like a super nice surprise milkwood! I am happy to hear how you 'did your assignment' and how it turned out.
Have a great day!
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
