The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
The C2C reading for September 5 speaks about the seventh step in which we humbly ask HP to remove our shortcomings. The reading points out that many of us lists feelings as shortcomings and ask HP to lift our feelings of anger, fear and guilt, so we can look forward to a day of it would not have to feel this terrible emotions.
Naturally that day will never arrive. Those feelings are part of our being human and necessary to our well being and growth-- they are not shortcomings.
The reading then suggests that the true nature of our problems are stubborn our refusal to acknowledge our feelings, to accept them process them , learn from them and then let them go.
We have little power over what we feel. We do have power over what we choose to do with them. That is our responsibility.
The reading suggests that we can accept our feelings, share about them with others, recognize that they are feelings and not facts and then let go.
We don't have to be stuck in a state of endless stage of self-pity because we give ourselves permission to feel whatever we are feeling.
We will find that our emotions have not been removed, Instead we have been relieved of shortcomings that locked us in behind a wall without self acceptance.
Reminder states and take steps and pray that whatever interferes with my higher power's will for me. May be removed. We only need to be willing
The quote is from the Al-Anon book:"In all our Affairs; "We didn't necessarily get the results you wanted, but somehow we always seem to get what we needed."
As I reflected on this reading this morning,
I was struck by how important the action of acceptance truly is . I could clearly see early in program I could intellectually understand the word "acceptance" however putting into practice was extremely difficult.
I wanted my life my way,I didn't want to get what I needed. I wanted to get what I wanted, I wanted only good feelings and to deny the reality of the negative ones. Needless to say, this does not work and I had a lot of work to do early on.
Thank you Al-Anon for giving me the tools to be able to feel my feelings, process them, own them, not blame others for them, and learn the lessons that I needed to.
I now can feel anger, look within and discover why, not look without to blame others. I can feel sadness and cry, confusion and admit it and look for answers. It's grand to be human, after all
Thanks Betty for the daily and the ESH! I was one who had one emotion - anger and everything else was channeled quickly into 'that one'. It took me a long while to understand that my feelings are right, real and true. My thoughts are what is not always reliable. So, if there's a social outing and I don't get invited, it's OK for me to feel sad and left out. It's not OK for me to assume that I wasn't invited because nobody likes me, or I have body odor or ................................... - making assumptions without facts (crazy thinking) is such a waste of energy and time.
More often than not, my anger is not completely rationale. It's just my 'go-to' reactive emotion. I tend to go to anger when I am sad, lonely, disappointed, etc. My program, the steps and my sponsor helped me be able to pause and feel the real emotion instead of speeding forward to anger every time I had a reaction. Without this program, I would never have learned how to be the true and real me and how to grow and change into a better person.
I am grateful that I always get exactly what I need even when it's far from what I wanted or thought I needed.
Thank you Al-Anon!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
