The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
When the guilt of the alcoholic explodes, I must realize that it is always aimed at those nearest, and often dearest. I want to remind myself that such outbursts only reveal the drinkers own unhappiness. I will not make the situation worse by taking seriously what the alcoholic says at such times. (One Day At a Time in Al-Anon, pg.55)
Got to admit that this Al-Anon slogan is one the best, because it enabled me to regain and retain my dignity, serenity and peace.I can now walk away and know in my heart that there is no way I am responsible for causing the drinking, the attitude, the verbal abuse or the unhappiness.
TGIF
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"Forgiveness doesn't excuse bad behavior, but it
does prevent bad behavior from destroying your heart". ~ unknown
My boyfriend of 10 months, who has been sober for 9 years (and works his program daily) has been going through a tough time since his father died in January and now they are cleaning out the family home. He has been angry, distant, depressed.....surly attitude........and now needs time and space. I need to keep reminding myself it is not about me.....
Thanks Debb Before program, when this happened I would become angry and "react" to the situation in a dreadful fashion or shut down and walk on egg shells.
Alanon has given me tools to honestly examine my part in every situation, check my motives, own it, validate my part and make amends if necessary It works wonders all around.
I love QTIP - one of my favorites because my crazy brain can remember it so easily!!!
I can relate to what everyone was said. When I start to 'feel' it's personal, I have to stop and think and then decide....
Thanks Debb & all for the great ESH!!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene