The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
hello! I have missed my MIP peeps and the wisdom, experience and knowledge that I am not alone in this crazy world of being married to an A. I have so much catching up to do!
Summer has flown by and it is time for school to start. Nothing has changed in regards to my AH...more empty promises, more lies, more promises to get better...all in vain. It is never going to happen. I truly, finally believe that death is the only thing that will heal him, which is heart breaking, but I finally get that there is absolutely nothing I can do to save him from this. He cannot let go of the alcohol. The hold is too strong. It doesn't matter what I say or what doctor's say...I give up.
So now it is up to me to start living my own life. Getting out there and finding a "paying" job. Taking care of our kids and myself. Once school starts I will finally be able to get back to F2F meetings. I have been reading Courage to Change, Hope for Today and ODAT. They have been life savers. things are great because I have freed myself from the obsession of my AH. I feel so alive, so free now that I have no expectation of my AH. I will no longer be the victim. I am still dealing with lots of resentment, but the majority of that is toward myself for living this way for so long. For letting this drag my kids and I down for so long.
There is hope, but the only hope that is real is what I can control and that is only me. Who knows what the future holds, only my HP knows...I'm trusting.
Great to hear from you Fairlee!! Sounds like you have been making progress. The three C's of An-anon, you didn't cause it, you can't cure it and you can't control it. Detach with love and empathy and take care of you and your children ... sounds like you have it right! Trusting in your HP is the best of all. {{HUGS}}
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"Forgiveness doesn't excuse bad behavior, but it
does prevent bad behavior from destroying your heart". ~ unknown
(((((Fairlee))))) you've made the connection and it is good hearing it come from you. I read your post and felt confident because I was hearing program as I came to understand it also. Good on you and Mahalo for bringing it back home. Hugs...
Howdy Fairlee - great to 'see' ya and so glad that things are going well!
Keep working it, it looks great on you!!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Best of Luck, Fairlee,
I wish I had left mine long ago, now I have 30 years invested. Lonely but working on myself at last. Blessings to you and your kids.
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"Feelings are never right or wrong, it is how you act on them."- Unknown
