The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today's reading is about how both shame and guilt can keep us trapped in unhealthy behaviors and are in direct contrast to our values. The reading speaks about how both steps four and five are so valuable in helping us to see that we can look at our whole selves, including traits or behaviors that may cause us to feel guilty, and be accepting. Asking HP for help, being honest with ourselves and another person about our defects, and learning to make amends are all such a crucial part in our recovery.
I was speaking to a friend yesterday about 'survivor's guilt'. I know I have felt this at times, as has she--and what I am thinking is that at some point we were ready to make some changes to work toward a healthier life. While it is difficult to see people around us whom we care about, that may not be at the point of making changes, it is not something to feel guilty about.
I have been moving away from the role of survivor into the role of thriver. Those defects that may have been used to help me in survival mode are being replaced with those that will help me thrive.
Thank you Mary for this morning's reading. Shame and guilt were two traps, as they are called,
that definitely held me back in the insanity. When I discovered what part I played in that
insanity and faced up to it, I began to see the whole picture in the mist of the chaos that
surrounded my AH. From there I was able to move into the thriver mode. Thank you to every-
one here on MIP, to my HP and Al-Anon. You have a great day too!!!
__________________
"Forgiveness doesn't excuse bad behavior, but it
does prevent bad behavior from destroying your heart". ~ unknown
Mary - Thanks so much for the daily reading and your ESH...
I admit shame and guilt kept me trapped in patterns of behavior that were far from healthy. As I began to work this program, and identified my triggers, habits, actions and reactions that held me back, it became clear that to grow, these needed to be removed or redirected. When I was able and remain willing to see my part in the insanity, I was able and became willing to have HP remove these. The tools of Al-Anon give me new tools to use instead; I just have to choose to pick them up and use them.
What's so interesting for me with the growth I have from this program is when I review my day each evening, it's easy to see situations/events that caused me discomfort/pain and it's easier now to see my part in those.
I am grateful for the program and the tools I've been given to thrive today. My progress may be slow, but I am OK with slow and steady in my life. I'm in no hurry when I stay focused on the moment or the one day at a time concept.
Have a super day to one and all!
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
