Welcome. Meetings once a month is good when the alternative is none. We have meetings twice a day here. You can find a link to the meetings on the welcome page (previous page) in the top left corner's yellow box. Attending and participating in meetings are the most helpful way for me to slowly grasp this. My understanding came slowly. Most of us are entrenched in old thinking and shortcuts to old hurts. I grabbed one slogan or one thought each week and made it my experiment for the week. In retrospect it all worked, but I can't say the moment or the key to feeling better and finding myself again.

You may also be interested in reading "Getting Them Sober" by Toby Rice Drews. It's not an official AlAnon book, but many of us have found the series helpful. If you're not in a position to buy a book, your library may help.

Hugs and welcome,

All I can think in reading your post is that you can't eat an elephant in one bite. It's very exciting that you are so anxious to get the program started!!

I understand limited availability to Alanon meetings and it are the podcasts of speakers that get me through and have gotten me through some of the darkest days I have dealt with in dealing with my emotions. My kids get to hear them as well which is way exciting, I'm just planting the seeds it's all I can do.

There are some great books out there about co-dependency, especially the trauma of living with an alcoholic parent. I developed unhealthy ways of managing my emotions by literally stuffing them and when they came out it was ugly no one ever saw it coming. Oh boy did they hear my wrath, so not fun times.

Accepting responsibility for me is so flipping scary ... it means I no longer get to blame others for my lot in life. That's a hard pill to swallow. Still working on that one .. however it is truly liberating because I no longer have to be at the mercy of past behavior. I do have choices and that is huge.

I guess this is my long way of saying for me working the steps is working on daily change I have to go back to 1,2,3 (I can't, Higher Power (whom I choose to call God) can, I'll let Him) daily, then work on next sequentially appropriate step after that. I would never encourage anyone to do a step 4, 5 alone that is where it's so important to have support, it doesn't have to be with a sponsor it has to be with someone who the person working the steps knows and trusts them implicitly. Sometimes they come in the form of a counselor, pastor, priest, very trusted friend.

Big hugs again and go through old posts you may find something that works for you .. what I love about the program is take what you like and leave the rest .. the freeing thing about that is being able to be ready when I am ready and not one min sooner.

Keep coming back and look around the board for meeting times here as well as being able to see the things you have questions on there is so much recovery time and everyone of us are in different places and that is way ok. I don't know if they have speaker meetings for AA in your area however those are very powerful for me because I learn so much more about the disease and it helps me fill my compassion tank.

Hugs S :)

 

 

How did I use it?  I came to understand that if I tried the program too literally I would get crazy and so with the promise of a statement at the end of all of our meetings..."If you keep an open mind, you will find help"...I started listening with a wide open mind.  At times I was looking for specific solutions to what I thought the problem was and at other times I just started storing other members experiences, strengths and hope.   They told me, "Take what you like and leave the rest" and that took the pressure off of me to get it all; all of the time.  I got stuff that was great and chucked it away till later while I was also getting stuff I could use right away.  I've got a blessed memory so I had grace in remembering for later.  I taught my behaviors to remember and I kept duplicating the solutions and the parts of the steps and traditions I was getting  healing from.   I was also born and raised in this disease so retraining my thoughts, feelings and behaviors was scary and exciting because I didn't know if it would work right up until the time that it did....How cool!!  The program works just like I was being told by the fellowship  "This works when you work it"!!!  The program isn't ridged as you can tell from reading the MIP shares.  All of our personalities have angles which give our experiences exciting consequences.  I was sharing in yesterdays morning meeting that I use to raise racing pigeons and during one nasty emotional  and mental breakdown my HP used a very rarely seen St. Francis of Assisi dove to get my attention and present me perspective that restored my sanity.  The event lasted two days and involved myself, a sponsee and several other people including HP.  What did I do?  I left the door to my mind wide open and just allowed myself to be led and directed.  I am still amazed at how it happened.

So you're here now...led by someone, some way, using the relationship with an alcoholic mother and the most we can do for you is welcome you and share our own experiences with you.  We know your insanity and you want to learn about out way out of it.   I'm in support...each and everything I've learned and been given in the program is yours along with all of the other experiences and awareness of your MIP family.   Welcome home   ((((hugs))))