The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
The C2C reading for August 14 speaks about having choices. It suggests that before reacting to a situation that we can look into our hearts, review what choices we have and see what we need to do although we may not like the choices that we find we, do have choices and we can choose to. act responsibly.
The Just for Today bookmark urges us to do two things that we do not want to do each day for practice. Doing so helps to create a balanced life. We all must exercise self-discipline so that we can pay attention to our feelings without being held captive by them.
The quote is from M. Scott Peck: self-discipline is self-caring.
I love that quote I must admit as a Flower Child of the 60aI always thought that self discipline was constricting and I hated it. I wanted to be Free
The most amazing thing happened when I exercised Self Discipline- I found that I was freer than I ever had been . I guess it is true Learning how to run free in harness is what it all about
I love today's reading and it's spot on for me right now...
My AH decided to put in his paperwork to retire and neglected to share that with me. So, he's taken care of himself - his insurance, his schedule, his separation, his paperwork and left me and the boys in a reactive mode.
He truly doesn't mean to be a pain in the backside, but the selfishness of the disease almost puts blinders on him like a horse running a race.
When he found out what the out-of-pocket insurance was going to be for us three, he about flipped. I wanted to say, "We could have planned a bit better for this", but just looked at him. Needless to say, while I know it will all be OK, it's added some tasks to my week that I didn't plan on and some stress as I am fearful of finances.
So - I need to keep practicing restraint of pen and tongue....I've been saying it so many times in the last few days, it's replaced the serenity prayer for my mantra.
I have always been a free-spirit, and because I became dependent on mind-altering substances early, feel that I can lack maturity. So - add that piece of me to living and loving 3 A(s) and you can imagine how much practice I get to work the Al-Anon program. My sponsor teases me about it actually and we do chuckle over the craziness that can happen each day! Having said that, I will admit that there are moments in my day(s) where I truly stop myself and ask, "What would a normal, responsible, loving person do right now?" or "What would a normal adult do about this?"
These are tools I've had to add as there is a part of me who at times would still love to throw a huge temper tantrum and storm away like I witness often...
Must do my best to stay above the surface storm and reach for the clouds. Hugs to all - what a great reading and thanks for the ESH too!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
